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WINE, n.Fermented grape-juice known to the Women's Christian Union as liquor, sometimes as rum. Wine, madam, is God's next best gift to man.

Ambrose Bierce

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Ambrose Bierce
Born: 1842
Born: June 24
Aphorist
Journalist
Poet
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Meigs County
Ohio
Dod Grile
William Herman
Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce
Ambrose Bierce
Women
Unions
Rum
Best
Cooking
Grape
Sometimes
Wine
Madam
Men
Gift
Grapes
Food
Liquor
Known
Juice
Christian
Culinary
Next
Union
Fermented

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Happiness is lost by criticizing it sorrow by accepting it.
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Barometer, n.: An ingenious instrument which indicates what kind of weather we are having.
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PERFECTION, n. An imaginary state of quality distinguished from the actual by an element known as excellence an attribute of the critic.
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RECREATION, n. A particular kind of dejection to relieve a general fatigue.
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CALUMNUS, n. A graduate of the School for Scandal.
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MAGNETISM, n. Something acting upon a magnet. The two definitions immediately foregoing are condensed from the works of one thousand eminent scientists, who have illuminated the subject with a great white light, to the inexpressible advancement of human knowledge.
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The clarinet is a musical instrument the only thing worse than which is two.
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MIND, n. A mysterious form of matter secreted by the brain. Its chief activity consists in the endeavour to ascertain its own nature, the futility of the attempt being due to the fact that it has nothing but itself to know itself with.
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OWE, v. To have (and to hold) a debt. The word formerly signified not indebtedness, but possession it meant own, and in the minds of debtors there is still a good deal of confusion between assets and liabilities.
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PLUNDER, v. To take the property of another without observing the decent and customary reticences of theft. To wrest the wealth of A from B and leave C lamenting a vanishing opportunity.
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Perseverance - a lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success.
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Academe, n.: An ancient school where morality and philosophy were taught. Academy, n.: A modern school where football is taught.
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Politeness, n: The most acceptable hypocrisy.
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Economy, n. Purchasing the barrel of whiskey that you do not need for the price of the cow that you cannot afford.
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ORTHODOX, n. An ox wearing the popular religious joke.
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PRE-EXISTENCE, n. An unnoted factor in creation.
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resolute, adj. Obstinate in a course that we approve.
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No country is so wild and difficult but men will make it a theater of war.
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INCOMPOSSIBLE, adj. Unable to exist if something else exists. Two things are incompossible when the world of being has scope enough for one of them, but not enough for both - as Walt Whitman's poetry and God's mercy to man.
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