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An old wine-bibber having been smashed in a railway collision, some wine was poured on his lips to revive him.

Ambrose Bierce

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Ambrose Bierce
Born: 1842
Born: June 24
Aphorist
Journalist
Poet
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Meigs County
Ohio
Dod Grile
William Herman
Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce
Ambrose Bierce
Lips
Wine
Connoisseur
Smashed
Railway
Revive
Collision
Poured

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Legitimate authority to be, to do or to have as the right to be a king, the right to do one's neighbor, the right to have measles, and the like.
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Painting, n.: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather, and exposing them to the critic.
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For every man there is something in the vocabulary that would stick to him like a second skin. His enemies have only to find it.
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GEOGRAPHER, n. A chap who can tell you offhand the difference between the outside of the world and the inside.
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EJECTION, n. An approved remedy for the disease of garrulity. It is also much used in cases of extreme poverty.
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What is a democrat? One who believes that the republicans have ruined the country. What is a republican? One who believes that the democrats would ruin the country.
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Impartial - unable to perceive any promise of personal advantage from espousing either side of a controversy.
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RIBALDRY, n. Censorious language by another concerning oneself.
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A nutritious substance supplied by a bountiful Providence for the fattening of the poor.
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Eloquence, n. The art of orally persuading fools that white is the color that it appears to be. It includes the gift of making any color appear white.
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ZIGZAG, v.t. To move forward uncertainly, from side to side, as one carrying the white man's burden.
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RAILROAD, n. The chief of many mechanical devices enabling us to get away from where we are to where we are no better off. For this purpose the railroad is held in highest favor by the optimist, for it permits him to make the transit with great expedition.
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There are four kinds of Homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy.
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REPUBLIC, n. A nation in which, the thing governing and the thing governed being the same, there is only a permitted authority to enforce an optional obedience.
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FEMALE, n. One of the opposing, or unfair, sex.
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SATIETY, n. The feeling that one has for the plate after he has eaten its contents, madam.
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RIDICULE, n. Words designed to show that the person of whom they are uttered is devoid of the dignity of character distinguishing him who utters them.
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MATERIAL, adj. Having an actual existence, as distinguished from an imaginary one. Important.
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A king's staff of office, the sign and symbol of his authority. It was originally a mace with which the sovereign admonished his jester and vetoed ministerial measures by breaking the bones of their proponents.
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RESPITE, n. A suspension of hostilities against a sentenced assassin, to enable the Executive to determine whether the murder may not have been done by the prosecuting attorney. Any break in the continuity of a disagreeable expectation.
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