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An old wine-bibber having been smashed in a railway collision, some wine was poured on his lips to revive him.

Ambrose Bierce

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Ambrose Bierce
Born: 1842
Born: June 24
Aphorist
Journalist
Poet
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Meigs County
Ohio
Dod Grile
William Herman
Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce
Ambrose Bierce
Collision
Poured
Lips
Wine
Connoisseur
Smashed
Railway
Revive

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INADMISSIBLE- Not competent to be considered. Hearsay evidence is inadmissible ... but there is no religion in the world that has any other basis than hearsay evidence.
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When publicly censured our first instinct is to make everybody a codefendant.
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SATIRE, n. An obsolete kind of literary composition in which the vices and follies of the author's enemies were expounded with imperfect tenderness.
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The wife, or bitter half.
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art, n. This word has no definition.
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ELEGY, n. A composition in verse, in which, without employing any of the methods of humor, the writer aims to produce in the reader's mind the dampest kind of dejection.
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Twice – Once too often.
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PRICE, n. Value, plus a reasonable sum for the wear and tear of conscience in demanding it.
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Behavior, n. Conduct, as determined, not by principle, but by breeding.
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To be positive is to be mistaken at the top of one's voice.
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PITY, n. A failing sense of exemption, inspired by contrast.
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Woman absent is woman dead.
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Coronation: The ceremony of investing a sovereign with the outward and visible signs of his divine right to be blown skyhigh with a dynamite bomb.
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MERCY, n. An attribute beloved of detected offenders.
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True, more than a half of the green graves in the Grafton cemetery are marked Unknown, and sometimes it occurs that one thinks of the contradiction involved in honoring the memory of him of whom no memory remains to honor but the attempt seems to do no great harm to the living, even to the logical.
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BABE or BABY, n. A misshapen creature of no particular age, sex, or condition, chiefly remarkable for the violence of the sympathies and antipathies it excites in others, itself without sentiment or emotion.
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Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
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predicament, n. The wage of consistency.
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EXILE, n. One who serves his country by residing abroad, yet is not an ambassador.
Ambrose Bierce
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Funeral: a pageant whereby we attest our respect for the dead by enriching the undertaker, and strengthen our grief by an expenditure that deepens our groans and doubles our tears.
Ambrose Bierce