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Electricity is the power that causes all natural phenomena not known to be caused by something else

Ambrose Bierce

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Ambrose Bierce
Born: 1842
Born: June 24
Aphorist
Journalist
Poet
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Meigs County
Ohio
Dod Grile
William Herman
Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce
Ambrose Bierce
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FROG, n. A reptile with edible legs
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Brain: an apparatus with which we think that we think. Mind, n. A mysterious form of matter secreted by the brain.
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LIMB, n. The branch of a tree or the leg of an American woman.
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Politeness, n: The most acceptable hypocrisy.
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CALLOUS, adj. Gifted with great fortitude to bear the evils afflicting another. When Zeno was told that one of his enemies was no more he was observed to be deeply moved. What! said one of his disciples, you weep at the death of an enemy? Ah, 'tis true, replied the great Stoic but you should see me smile at the death of a friend..
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REAR, n. In American military matters, that exposed part of the army that is nearest to Congress.
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Philanthropist, n.: A rich (and usually bald) old gentleman who has trained himself to grin while his conscience is picking his pocket.
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RATTLESNAKE, n. Our prostrate brother, Homo ventrambulans.
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HOSPITALITY, n. The virtue which induces us to feed and lodge certain persons who are not in need of food and lodging.
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Learning, n. The kind of ignorance distinguishing the studious.
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PALMISTRY, n. The 947th method . . . of obtaining money by false pretences [by] reading character in the wrinkles [of] the hand. The pretence is not altogether false. . . for the wrinkles in every hand submitted plainly spell the word dupe.
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Debt, n. An ingenious substitute for the chain and whip of the slavedriver.
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MIND, n. A mysterious form of matter secreted by the brain. Its chief activity consists in the endeavour to ascertain its own nature, the futility of the attempt being due to the fact that it has nothing but itself to know itself with.
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Aristocrats: n. fellows that wear downy hats and clean shirts - guilty of education and suspected of bank accounts.
Ambrose Bierce
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self-esteem, n. An erroneous appraisal.
Ambrose Bierce
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Painting, n.: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather, and exposing them to the critic.
Ambrose Bierce
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Genius - to know without having learned to draw just conclusions from unknown premises to discern the soul of things.
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Justice is a commodity which in a more or less adulterated condition the State sells to the citizen as a reward for his allegiance, taxes and personal service.
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RATIONAL, adj. Devoid of all delusions save those of observation, experience and reflection.
Ambrose Bierce