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A leech who, having penetrated the shell of a turtle only to find that the creature has long been dead, deems it expedient to form a new attachment to a fresh turtle.
Ambrose Bierce
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Ambrose Bierce
Born: 1842
Born: June 24
Aphorist
Journalist
Poet
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Meigs County
Ohio
Dod Grile
William Herman
Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce
Ambrose Bierce
Dead
Turtle
Form
Turtles
Find
Shell
Long
Shells
Leech
Attachment
Deems
Creature
Leeches
Fresh
Penetrated
Creatures
Expedient
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Kiss. n. A word invented by the poets as a rhyme for bliss.
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There are two instruments worse than a clarinet - two clarinets.
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PRESBYTERIAN, n. One who holds the conviction that the government authorities of the Church should be called presbyters.
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alone, adj. In bad company.
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Bigamy, n. A mistake in taste for which the wisdom of the future will adjudge a punishment called trigamy.
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Potable, n. Suitable for drinking. Water is said to be potable indeed, some declare it our natural beverage, although even they find it palatable only when suffering from the recurrent disorder known as thirst, for which it is a medicine.
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There's no free will, says the philosopher To hang is most unjust. There is no free will, assents the officer We hang because we must.
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AUSTRALIA, n. A country lying in the South Sea, whose industrial and commercial development has been unspeakably retarded by an unfortunate dispute among geographers as to whether it is a continent or an island.
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Self-denial is indulgence of a propensity to forego.
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STORY, n. A narrative, commonly untrue. The truth of the stories here following has, however, not been successfully impeached.
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HOMŒOPATHIST, n. The humorist of the medical profession.
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What a woman most admires in a man is distinction among men. What a man most admires in a woman is devotion to himself.
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RATIONAL, adj. Devoid of all delusions save those of observation, experience and reflection.
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An election is nothing more than the advanced auction of stolen goods.
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An immaterial but visible being that inhabited the air when the air was an element and before it was fatally polluted with factory smoke, sewer gas and similar products of civilization.
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In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.
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Spring beckons! All things to the call respond the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.
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REACH, n. The radius of action of the human hand. The area within which it is possible (and customary) to gratify directly the propensity to provide.
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Religions are conclusions for which the facts of nature supply no major premises.
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Sabbath - a weekly festival having its origin in the fact that God made the world in six days and was arrested on the seventh.
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