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A hollow edifice erected for the habitation of man, rat, mouse, beetle, cockroach, fly, mosquito, flea, bacillus, and microbe.

Ambrose Bierce

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Ambrose Bierce
Born: 1842
Born: June 24
Aphorist
Journalist
Poet
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Meigs County
Ohio
Dod Grile
William Herman
Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce
Ambrose Bierce
Mouse
Flea
Rats
Microbes
Mice
Erected
Hollow
Beetles
Microbe
Party
Cockroaches
Cockroach
House
Mosquitoes
Habitation
Men
Fleas
Beetle
Edifice
Mosquito

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IGNORAMUS, n. A person unacquainted with certain kinds of knowledge familiar to yourself, and having certain other kinds that you know nothing about.
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EXHORT, v.t. In religious affairs, to put the conscience of another upon the spit and roast it to a nut-brown discomfort.
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Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
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A king's staff of office, the sign and symbol of his authority. It was originally a mace with which the sovereign admonished his jester and vetoed ministerial measures by breaking the bones of their proponents.
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RUIN, v. To destroy. Specifically, to destroy a maid's belief in the virtue of maids.
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Historian - a broad-gauge gossip.
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BAIT, n. A preparation that renders the hook more palatable. The best kind is beauty.
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God alone knows the future, but only an historian can alter the past.
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LEXICOGRAPHER, n. A pestilent fellow who, under the pretense of recording some particular stage in the development of a language, does what he can to arrest its growth, stiffen its flexibility and mechanize its methods.
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Miss: A title with which we brand unmarried women to indicate that they are in the market. Miss, Misses (Mrs.) and Mister (Mr.) are the three most distinctly disagreeable words in the language, in sound and sense.
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CONGRESS, n. A body of men who meet to repeal laws.
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ROMANCE, n. Fiction that owes no allegiance to the God of Things as They Are. In the novel the writer's thought is tethered to probability, but in romance it ranges at will over the entire region of the imagination . . .
Ambrose Bierce
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RATTLESNAKE, n. Our prostrate brother, Homo ventrambulans.
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Responsibility, n. A detachable burden easily shifted to the shoulders of God, Fate, Fortune, Luck or one's neighbor. In the days of astrology it was customary to unload it upon a star.
Ambrose Bierce
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Beauty, n: the power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.
Ambrose Bierce
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DIAPHRAGM, n. A muscular partition separating disorders of the chest from disorders of the bowels.
Ambrose Bierce
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Education, n.: That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.
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RACK, n. An argumentative implement formerly much used in persuading devotees of a false faith to embrace the living truth. As a call to the unconverted the rack never had any particular efficacy, and is now held in light popular esteem.
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GEOGRAPHER, n. A chap who can tell you offhand the difference between the outside of the world and the inside.
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The poor man's price of admittance to the favor of the rich is his self-respect.
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