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Botany, n. The science of vegetables - those that are not good to eat, as well as those that are. It deals largely with their flowers, which are commonly badly designed, inartistic in color, and ill-smelling.

Ambrose Bierce

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Ambrose Bierce
Born: 1842
Born: June 24
Aphorist
Journalist
Poet
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Meigs County
Ohio
Dod Grile
William Herman
Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce
Ambrose Bierce
Deals
Largely
Science
Vegetables
Wells
Badly
Well
Designed
Good
Ill
Flowers
Botany
Flower
Smelling
Color
Commonly

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FLAG, n. A colored rag borne above troops and hoisted on forts and ships. It appears to serve the same purpose as certain signs that one sees and vacant lots in London
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ACCUSE, v.t. To affirm another's guilt or unworth most commonly as a justification of ourselves for having wronged him.
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POCKET, n. The cradle of motive and the grave of conscience. In woman this organ is lacking so she acts without motive, and her conscience, denied burial, remains ever alive, confessing the sins of others.
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Nature's fortuitous manifestation of her purposeless objectionableness.
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HOSPITALITY, n. The virtue which induces us to feed and lodge certain persons who are not in need of food and lodging.
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Income is the natural and rational gauge and measure of respectability.
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A person who doubts himself is like a man who would enlist in the ranks of his enemies and bear arms agains himself. He makes his failure certain by himself being the first person to be convinced of it.
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ARMOR, n. The kind of clothing worn by a man whose tailor is a blacksmith.
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RIMER, n. A poet regarded with indifference or disesteem.
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PHYSIOGNOMY, n. The art of determining the character of another by the resemblances and differences between his face and our own, which is the standard of excellence.
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TRUST, n. In American politics, a large corporation composed in greater part of thrifty working men, widows of small means, orphans in the care of guardians and the courts, with many similar malefactors and public enemies.
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EXILE, n. One who serves his country by residing abroad, yet is not an ambassador.
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PUSH, n. One of the two things mainly conducive to success, especially in politics. The other is Pull.
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Before undergoing a surgical operation, arrange your temporal affairs. You may live.
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Laziness. Unwarranted repose of manner in a person of low degree.
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