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PIANO, n. A parlor utensil for subduing the impenitent visitor. It is operated by depressing the keys of the machine and the spirits of the audience.

Ambrose Bierce

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Ambrose Bierce
Born: 1842
Born: June 24
Aphorist
Journalist
Poet
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Meigs County
Ohio
Dod Grile
William Herman
Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce
Ambrose Bierce
Machine
Subduing
Piano
Utensils
Machines
Visitor
Keys
Operated
Audience
Parlor
Visitors
Funny
Depressing
Spirit
Spirits
Utensil
Music

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HUSBAND, n. One who, having dined, is charged with the care of the plate.
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Doubt is the father of invention.
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Something that is supposed to typify or stand for something else. Many symbols are mere survivals - as funereal urns carved on memorial monuments. We cannot stop making them, but we can give them a name that conceals our helplessness.
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A wedding is a ceremony at which two persons undertake to become one, one undertakes to become nothing, and nothing undertakes to become supportable.
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Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
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Immortality: A toy which people cry for, And on their knees apply for, Dispute, contend and lie for, And if allowed Would be right proud Eternally to die for.
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plagiarism, n. A literary coincidence compounded of a discreditable priority and an honorable subsequence.
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Incompatibility. In matrimony a similarity of tastes, particularly the taste for domination.
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