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General, said the commander of the delinquent brigade, I am persuaded that any further display of valor by my troops will bring them into collision with the enemy.

Ambrose Bierce

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Ambrose Bierce
Born: 1842
Born: June 24
Aphorist
Journalist
Poet
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Meigs County
Ohio
Dod Grile
William Herman
Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce
Ambrose Bierce
Display
Delinquent
Troops
Brigade
General
Delinquents
Military
Persuaded
Bring
Collision
Enemy
Valor
Funny
Commander
Commanders

More quotes by Ambrose Bierce

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CLERGYMAN, n. A man who undertakes the management of our spiritual affairs as a method of better his temporal ones.
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CALLOUS, adj. Gifted with great fortitude to bear the evils afflicting another.
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When publicly censured our first instinct is to make everybody a codefendant.
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me, pro. The objectionable case of I. The personal pronoun in English has three cases, the dominative, the objectionable and the oppressive. Each is all three.
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Creditor. One of a tribe of savages dwelling beyond the Financial Straits and dreaded for their desolating incursions.
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NON-COMBATANT, n. A dead Quaker.
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The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.
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repose, v.i. To cease from troubling.
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Least said is soon disavowed.
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Who never doubted, never half believed. Where doubt is, there truth is - it is her shadow.
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Noise: a stench in the ear.
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BODY-SNATCHER, n. A robber of grave-worms. One who supplies the young physicians with that with which the old physicians have supplied the undertaker.
Ambrose Bierce
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The Senate is a body of old men charged with high duties and misdemeanors.
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alone, adj. In bad company.
Ambrose Bierce
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A book which the Mohammedans foolishly believe to have been written by divine inspiration, but which Christians know to be a wicked imposture, contradictory to the Holy Scriptures.
Ambrose Bierce
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PHRENOLOGY, n. The science of picking the pocket through the scalp. It consists in locating and exploiting the organ that one is a dupe with.
Ambrose Bierce
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Admiration, n. Our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves.
Ambrose Bierce
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LUMINARY, One who throws light upon a subject as an editor by not writing about it.
Ambrose Bierce
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ROMANCE, n. Fiction that owes no allegiance to the God of Things as They Are. In the novel the writer's thought is tethered to probability, but in romance it ranges at will over the entire region of the imagination . . .
Ambrose Bierce
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CENTAUR, n. One of a race of persons who lived before the division of labor had been carried to such a pitch of differentiation, and who followed the primitive economic maxim, Every man his own horse.
Ambrose Bierce