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OUT-OF-DOORS, n. That part of one's environment upon which no government has been able to collect taxes. Chiefly useful to inspire poets.

Ambrose Bierce

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Ambrose Bierce
Born: 1842
Born: June 24
Aphorist
Journalist
Poet
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Meigs County
Ohio
Dod Grile
William Herman
Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce
Ambrose Bierce
Environment
Chiefly
Fun
Collect
Inspiration
Poets
Upon
Useful
Part
Inspire
Government
Taxes
Able
Poet
Doors

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Incompatibility. In matrimony a similarity of tastes, particularly the taste for domination.
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SYCOPHANT- One who approaches Greatness on his belly so that he may not be commanded to turn and be kicked. He is sometimes an editor.
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Feast, n. A festival. A religious celebration usually signalized by gluttony and drunkenness, frequently in honor of some holy person distinguished for abstemiousness.
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An old wine-bibber having been smashed in a railway collision, some wine was poured on his lips to revive him.
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REBEL, n. A proponent of a new misrule who has failed to establish it.
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predilection, n. The preparatory stage of disillusion.
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MAGNETISM, n. Something acting upon a magnet. The two definitions immediately foregoing are condensed from the works of one thousand eminent scientists, who have illuminated the subject with a great white light, to the inexpressible advancement of human knowledge.
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MIND, n. A mysterious form of matter secreted by the brain. Its chief activity consists in the endeavour to ascertain its own nature, the futility of the attempt being due to the fact that it has nothing but itself to know itself with.
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RUSSIAN, n. A person with a Caucasian body and a Mongolian soul. A Tartar Emetic.
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Don't steal thou'lt never thus compete successfully in business. Cheat.
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PIGMY, n. One of a tribe of very small men found by ancient travelers in many parts of the world, but by modern in Central Africa only. The Pigmies are so called to distinguish them from the bulkier Caucasians - who are Hogmies.
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Fear has no brains it is an idiot.
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A penny saved is a penny to squander.
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Fashion, n. A despot whom the wise ridicule and obey.
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Philosophy: A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.
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PASTIME, n. A device for promoting dejection. Gentle exercise for intellectual debility.
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PRESIDENT, n. The leading figure in a small group of men of whom - and of whom only - it is positively known that immense numbers of their countrymen did not want any of them for President.
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Gout, a physician's name for the rheumatism of a rich patient
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