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ZEUS /n./ The chief of Grecian gods, adored by the Romans as Jupiter and by the modern Americans as God, Gold, Mob and Dog.

Ambrose Bierce

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Ambrose Bierce
Born: 1842
Born: June 24
Aphorist
Journalist
Poet
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Meigs County
Ohio
Dod Grile
William Herman
Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce
Ambrose Bierce
Americans
Zeus
Modern
Jupiter
Romans
Chief
Chiefs
Gods
Dog
Grecian
Gold
Adored

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LEAD, n. A heavy blue-gray metal much used in giving stability to light lovers - particularly to those who love not wisely but other men's wives.
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STORY, n. A narrative, commonly untrue.
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ULTIMATUM, n. In diplomacy, a last demand before resorting to concessions.
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Bigamy, n. A mistake in taste for which the wisdom of the future will adjudge a punishment called trigamy.
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I believe we shall come to care about people less and less. The more people one knows the easier it becomes to replace them. It's one of the curses of London.
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Rhubarb: essence of stomach ache.
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CRAYFISH, n. A small crustacean very much resembling the lobster, but less indigestible.
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Perseverance - a lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success.
Ambrose Bierce
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PHILISTINE, n. One whose mind is the creature of its environment, following the fashion in thought, feeling and sentiment. He is sometimes learned, frequently prosperous, commonly clean and always solemn.
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Conversation, n.: A vocal competition in which the one who is catching his breath is called the listener.
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The only distinction that democracies reward is a high degree of conformity.
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Behavior, n. Conduct, as determined, not by principle, but by breeding.
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A hollow edifice erected for the habitation of man, rat, mouse, beetle, cockroach, fly, mosquito, flea, bacillus, and microbe.
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NIHILIST, n. A Russian who denies the existence of anything but Tolstoi. The leader of the school is Tolstoi.
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Condole - to show that bereavement is a smaller evil than sympathy.
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COMFORT, n. A state of mind produced by contemplation of a neighbor's uneasiness.
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GRAPESHOT, n. An argument which the future is preparing in answer to the demands of American Socialism.
Ambrose Bierce
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applause, n. The echo of a platitude.
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DEPENDENT, adj. Reliant upon another's generosity for the support which you are not in a position to exact from his fears.
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TABLE D'HOTE, n. A caterer's thrifty concession to the universal passion for irresponsibility.
Ambrose Bierce