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Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Ambrose Bierce

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Ambrose Bierce
Born: 1842
Born: June 24
Aphorist
Journalist
Poet
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Meigs County
Ohio
Dod Grile
William Herman
Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce
Ambrose Bierce
Talking
War
Part
Warship
Doe
Figurehead
Thinking
Warships
Admiral
Navy
Army

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NECTAR, n. A drink served at banquets of the Olympian deities. The secret of its preparation is lost, but the modern Kentuckians believe that they come pretty near to a knowledge of its chief ingredient.
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WASHINGTONIAN, n. A Potomac tribesman who exchanged the privilege of governing himself for the advantage of good government. In justice to him it should be said that he did not want to.
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INJUSTICE, n. A burden which of all those that we load upon others and carry ourselves is lightest in the hands and heaviest upon the back.
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OYSTER, n. A slimy, gobby shellfish which civilization gives men the hardihood to eat without removing its entrails! The shells are sometimes given to the poor.
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RABBLE, n. In a republic, those who exercise a supreme authority tempered by fraudulent elections. The rabble is like the sacred Simurgh, of Arabian fable - omnipotent on condition that it do nothing.
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Philosophy: A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.
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HAND, n. A singular instrument worn at the end of the human arm and commonly thrust into somebody's pocket.
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CONGRESS, n. A body of men who meet to repeal laws.
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Consul - in American politics, a person who having failed to secure an office from the people is given one by the Administration on condition that he leave the country.
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CALAMITY, n. A more than commonly plain and unmistakable reminder that the affairs of this life are not of our own ordering. Calamities are of two kinds: misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others.
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Magpie, n.: A bird whose theivish disposition suggested to someone that it might be taught to talk.
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A leech who, having penetrated the shell of a turtle only to find that the creature has long been dead, deems it expedient to form a new attachment to a fresh turtle.
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MERCY, n. An attribute beloved of detected offenders.
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Genius - to know without having learned to draw just conclusions from unknown premises to discern the soul of things.
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I keep a conscience uncorrupted by religion, a judgment undimmed by politics and patriotism, a heart untainted by friendships and sentiments unsoured by animosities.
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Hurry n: The dispatch of bunglers.
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BLANK-VERSE, n. Unrhymed iambic pentameters - the most difficult kind of English verse to write acceptably a kind, therefore, much affected by those who cannot acceptably write any kind.
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LAST, n. A shoemaker's implement, named by a frowning Providence as opportunity to the maker of puns.
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RASCALITY, n. Stupidity militant. The activity of a clouded intellect.
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Perseverance - a lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success.
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