Quote

Custard: A detestable substance produced by a malevolent conspiracy of the hen, the cow, and the cook.

Ambrose Bierce

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Ambrose Bierce
Born: 1842
Born: June 24
Aphorist
Journalist
Poet
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Meigs County
Ohio
Dod Grile
William Herman
Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce
Ambrose Bierce
Food
Conspiracy
Culinary
Cows
Cook
Cooks
Custard
Produced
Malevolent
Substance
Detestable
Cooking
Hens

More quotes by Ambrose Bierce

Image
When you have made a catalogue of your friend's faults it is only fair to supply him with a duplicate, so that he may know yours.
Ambrose Bierce
Image
LANGUAGE, n. The music with which we charm the serpents guarding another's treasure.
Ambrose Bierce
Image
Success is the one unpardonable sin against our fellows.
Ambrose Bierce
Image
A leech who, having penetrated the shell of a turtle only to find that the creature has long been dead, deems it expedient to form a new attachment to a fresh turtle.
Ambrose Bierce
Image
When among the graves of thy fellows, walk with circumspection thine own is open at thy feet.
Ambrose Bierce
Image
ETHNOLOGY, n. The science that treats of the various tribes of Man, as robbers, thieves, swindlers, dunces, lunatics, idiots and ethnologists.
Ambrose Bierce
Image
Even the laws of justice themselves cannot subsist without mixture of injustice.
Ambrose Bierce
Image
Evolutionary biology is genuinely scientific, but more than that it opens the door to a world more marvellous than any Christian fundamentalist has ever read into the pages of the Bible.
Ambrose Bierce
Image
STORY, n. A narrative, commonly untrue.
Ambrose Bierce
Image
Cribbage, n. A substitute for conversation among those to whom nature has denied ideas.
Ambrose Bierce
Image
ARTLESSNESS, n. A certain engaging quality to which women attain by long study and severe practice upon the admiring male, who is pleased to fancy it resembles the candid simplicity of his young.
Ambrose Bierce
Image
Censor, n. An officer of certain governments, employed to supress the works of genius. Among the Romans the censor was an inspector of public morals, but the public morals of modern nations will not bear inspection.
Ambrose Bierce
Image
For every man there is something in the vocabulary that would stick to him like a second skin. His enemies have only to find it.
Ambrose Bierce
Image
PRICE, n. Value, plus a reasonable sum for the wear and tear of conscience in demanding it.
Ambrose Bierce
Image
REALITY, n. The dream of a mad philosopher. That which would remain in the cupel if one should assay a phantom. The nucleus of a vacuum.
Ambrose Bierce
Image
VIRTUES, n.pl. Certain abstentions.
Ambrose Bierce
Image
He who thinks with difficulty believes with alacrity. A fool is a natural proselyte, but he must be caught young, for his convictions, unlike those of the wise, harden with age.
Ambrose Bierce
Image
APHORISM, n. Predigested wisdom. The flabby wine-skin of his brain Yields to some pathologic strain, And voids from its unstored abysm The driblet of an aphorism. The Mad Philosopher, 1697
Ambrose Bierce
Image
The partisan strife in which the people of the country are permitted to periodically engage does not tend to the development of ugly traits of character, but merely discloses those that preexist.
Ambrose Bierce
Image
CUI BONO? [Latin] What good would that do me?
Ambrose Bierce