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HAND, n. A singular instrument worn at the end of the human arm and commonly thrust into somebody's pocket.

Ambrose Bierce

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Ambrose Bierce
Born: 1842
Born: June 24
Aphorist
Journalist
Poet
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Meigs County
Ohio
Dod Grile
William Herman
Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce
Ambrose Bierce
Hands
Pocket
Ends
Worn
Human
Pockets
Humans
Instrument
Instruments
Arms
Singular
Somebody
Commonly
Hand
Thrust

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In each human heart are a tiger, a pig, an ass and a nightingale. Diversity of character is due to their unequal activity.
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REPARATION, n. Satisfaction that is made for a wrong and deducted from the satisfaction felt in committing it.
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SPOOKER, n. A writer whose imagination concerns itself with supernatural phenomena, especially in the doings of spooks.
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ARTLESSNESS, n. A certain engaging quality to which women attain by long study and severe practice upon the admiring male, who is pleased to fancy it resembles the candid simplicity of his young.
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TRUST, n. In American politics, a large corporation composed in greater part of thrifty working men, widows of small means, orphans in the care of guardians and the courts, with many similar malefactors and public enemies.
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A total abstainer is one who abstains from everything but abstention, and especially from inactivity in the affairs of others.
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GRAVE, n. A place in which the dead are laid to await the coming of the medical student.
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MUGWUMP, n. In politics one afflicted with self-respect and addicted to the vice of independence. A term of contempt.
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GNOSTICS, n. A sect of philosophers who tried to engineer a fusion between the early Christians and the Platonists. The former would not go into the caucus and the combination failed, greatly to the chagrin of the fusion managers.
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Bigot: One who is obstinately and zealously attached to an opinion that you do not entertain.
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Painting, n.: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather, and exposing them to the critic.
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Occident: The part of the world lying west (or east) of the Orient. It is largely inhabited by Christians, a powerful subtribe of the Hypocrites, whose principal industries are murder and cheating, which they are pleased to call war and commerce. These, also, are the principal industries of the Orient.
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PICKANINNY, n. The young of the Procyanthropos, or Americanus dominans. It is small, black and charged with political fatalities.
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MIND, n. A mysterious form of matter secreted by the brain. Its chief activity consists in the endeavour to ascertain its own nature, the futility of the attempt being due to the fact that it has nothing but itself to know itself with.
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MAMMALIA, n.pl. A family of vertebrate animals whose females in a state of nature suckle their young, but when civilized and enlightened put them out to nurse, or use the bottle.
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CUI BONO? [Latin] What good would that do me?
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Calamities are of two kinds: misfortunes to ourselves, and good fortune to others.
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PYRRHONISM- An ancient philosophy, named for its inventor. It consisted of an absolute disbelief in everything but Pyrrhonism. Its modern professors have added that.
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picture, n. A representation in two dimensions of something wearisome in three.
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RATIONAL, adj. Devoid of all delusions save those of observation, experience and reflection.
Ambrose Bierce