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HAND, n. A singular instrument worn at the end of the human arm and commonly thrust into somebody's pocket.

Ambrose Bierce

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Ambrose Bierce
Born: 1842
Born: June 24
Aphorist
Journalist
Poet
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Meigs County
Ohio
Dod Grile
William Herman
Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce
Ambrose Bierce
Hand
Thrust
Hands
Pocket
Ends
Worn
Human
Pockets
Humans
Instrument
Instruments
Arms
Singular
Somebody
Commonly

More quotes by Ambrose Bierce

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MAN, n. An animal so lost in rapturous contemplation of what he thinks he is as to overlook what he indubitably ought to be. His chief occupation is extermination of other animals and his own species, which, however, multiplies with such insistent rapidity as to infest the whole habitable earth and Canada.
Ambrose Bierce
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He laughs best who laughs least.
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Friendship: A ship big enough for two in fair weather, but only one in foul.
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Noise: a stench in the ear.
Ambrose Bierce
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To bother about the best method of accomplishing an accidental result.
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Cynicism is that blackguard defect of vision which compels us to see the world as it is, instead of as it should be.
Ambrose Bierce
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K, n. A consonant originally precisely that of our H, but altered to its present shape to commemorate the destruction of [one of two lofty columns in] the great temple of Jarute.
Ambrose Bierce
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OYSTER, n. A slimy, gobby shellfish which civilization gives men the hardihood to eat without removing its entrails! The shells are sometimes given to the poor.
Ambrose Bierce
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REDRESS, n. Reparation without satisfaction.
Ambrose Bierce
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predilection, n. The preparatory stage of disillusion.
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FROG, n. A reptile with edible legs
Ambrose Bierce
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WEAKNESSES, n.pl. Certain primal powers of Tyrant Woman wherewith she holds dominion over the male of her species, binding him to the service of her will and paralyzing his rebellious energies.
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A comely female inhabiting the Mohammedan Paradise to make things cheery for the good Mussulman, whose belief in her existence marks a noble discontent with his earthly spouse, whom he denies a soul.
Ambrose Bierce
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Genius - to know without having learned to draw just conclusions from unknown premises to discern the soul of things.
Ambrose Bierce
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ZOOLOGY, n. The science and history of the animal kingdom, including its king, the House Fly (Musca maledicta). The father of Zoology was Aristotle, as is universally conceded, but the name of its mother has not come down to us.
Ambrose Bierce
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DIAPHRAGM, n. A muscular partition separating disorders of the chest from disorders of the bowels.
Ambrose Bierce
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MISDEMEANOR, n. An infraction of the law having less dignity than a felony and constituting no claim to admittance into the best criminal society.
Ambrose Bierce
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Battle, n., A method of untying with the teeth a political knot that would not yield to the tongue.
Ambrose Bierce
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STORY, n. A narrative, commonly untrue.
Ambrose Bierce
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Empty wine bottles have a bad opinion of women.
Ambrose Bierce