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GRAPESHOT, n. An argument which the future is preparing in answer to the demands of American Socialism.

Ambrose Bierce

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Ambrose Bierce
Born: 1842
Born: June 24
Aphorist
Journalist
Poet
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Meigs County
Ohio
Dod Grile
William Herman
Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce
Ambrose Bierce
Argument
Demand
Answer
Answers
American
Future
Preparing
Demands
Socialism

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Abnormal, adj. Not conforming to standard. In matters of thought and conduct, to be independent is to be abnormal, to be abnormal is to be detested.
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Barometer, n.: An ingenious instrument which indicates what kind of weather we are having.
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SARCOPHAGUS, n. Among the Greeks a coffin which being made of a certain kind of carnivorous stone, had the peculiar property of devouring the body placed in it.
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War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.
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A man is the sum of his ancestors to reform him you must begin with a dead ape and work downward through a million graves. He is like the lower end of a suspended chain you can sway him slightly to the right or the left, but remove your hand and he falls into line with the other links.
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Meekness: Uncommon patience in planning a revenge that is worth while.
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Admiration, n. Our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves.
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LAST, n. A shoemaker's implement, named by a frowning Providence as opportunity to the maker of puns.
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MAGIC, n. An art of converting superstition into coin. There are other arts serving the same high purpose, but the discreet lexicographer does not name them.
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HASH: There is no definition for this word - nobody knows what hash is.
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PROOF, n. Evidence having a shade more of plausibility than of unlikelihood. The testimony of two credible witnesses as opposed to that of only one.
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I was born to poor because of honest parents.
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MUSTANG, n. An indocile horse of the western plains. In English society, the American wife of an English nobleman.
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To bother about the best method of accomplishing an accidental result.
Ambrose Bierce
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Gout, a physician's name for the rheumatism of a rich patient
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A person of greater enterprise than discretion, who in embracing an opportunity has formed an unfortunate attachment.
Ambrose Bierce
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Here's to woman! Would that we could fold into her arms without falling into her hands.
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LOGANIMITY, n. The disposition to endure injury with meek forbearance while maturing a plan of revenge.
Ambrose Bierce