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You are not permitted to kill a woman who has wronged you, but nothing forbids you to reflect that she is growing older every minute.

Ambrose Bierce

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Ambrose Bierce
Born: 1842
Born: June 24
Aphorist
Journalist
Poet
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Meigs County
Ohio
Dod Grile
William Herman
Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce
Ambrose Bierce
Nothing
Older
Every
Kill
Love
Marriage
Forbids
Minutes
Wronged
Growing
Permitted
Funny
Reflect
Woman
Revenge
Women
Minute

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CRAYFISH, n. A small crustacean very much resembling the lobster, but less indigestible.
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Work: a dangerous disorder affecting high public functionaries who want to go fishing.
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LEXICOGRAPHER, n. A pestilent fellow who, under the pretense of recording some particular stage in the development of a language, does what he can to arrest its growth, stiffen its flexibility and mechanize its methods.
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PHOTOGRAPH, n. A picture painted by the sun without instruction in art. It is a little better than the work of an Apache, but not quite so good as that of a Cheyenne.
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DISOBEDIENCE, n. The silver lining to the cloud of servitude.
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UGLINESS, n. A gift of the gods to certain women, entailing virtue without humility.
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Democracy is defended in 3 stages. Ballot Box, Jury Box, Cartridge Box.
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Brain: an apparatus with which we think that we think. Mind, n. A mysterious form of matter secreted by the brain.
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ASPERSE, v.t. Maliciously to ascribe to another vicious actions which one has not had the temptation and opportunity to commit.
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In this world one must have a name it prevents confusion, even when it does not establish identity. Some, though, are known by numbers, which also seem inadequate distinctions.
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A modern school where football is taught.
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If every hypocrite in the United States were to break his leg to-day the country could be successfully invaded to-morrow by the warlike hypocrites of Canada.
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Nature's fortuitous manifestation of her purposeless objectionableness.
Ambrose Bierce
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PLAGIARIZE, v. To take the thought or style of another writer whom one has never, never read.
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GUILLOTINE, n. A machine which makes a Frenchman shrug his shoulders with good reason.
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REPARTEE, n. Prudent insult in retort. Practiced by gentlemen with a constitutional aversion to violence, but a strong disposition to offend. In a war of words, the tactics of the North American Indian.
Ambrose Bierce
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URBANITY, n. The kind of civility that urban observers ascribe to dwellers in all cities but New York. Its commonest expression is heard in the words, I beg your pardon, and it is not consistent with disregard of the rights of others.
Ambrose Bierce
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DISCRIMINATE, v.i. To note the particulars in which one person or thing is, if possible, more objectionable than another.
Ambrose Bierce
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Censor, n. An officer of certain governments, employed to supress the works of genius. Among the Romans the censor was an inspector of public morals, but the public morals of modern nations will not bear inspection.
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Distance, n. The only thing that the rich are willing for the poor to call theirs and keep.
Ambrose Bierce