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Immortality: A toy which people cry for, And on their knees apply for, Dispute, contend and lie for, And if allowed Would be right proud Eternally to die for.

Ambrose Bierce

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Ambrose Bierce
Born: 1842
Born: June 24
Aphorist
Journalist
Poet
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Meigs County
Ohio
Dod Grile
William Herman
Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce
Ambrose Bierce
Right
Knees
Would
Sadness
Contend
People
Allowed
Dispute
Cry
Eternally
Proud
Disputes
Literature
Toys
Dies
Apply
Lying
Immortality

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Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
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Achievement the death of endeavor and the birth of disgust.
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Beauty, n: the power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.
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There are four kinds of Homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy.
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Example is better than following it.
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Religion. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable.
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He laughs best who laughs least.
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Dog - a kind of additional or subsidiary Deity designed to catch the overflow and surplus of the world's worship.
Ambrose Bierce
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LEAD, n. A heavy blue-gray metal much used ... as a counterpoise to an argument of such weight that it turns the scale of debate the wrong way. An interesting fact in the chemistry of international controversy is that at the point of contact of two patriotisms lead is precipitated in great quantities.
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Inhumanity, n. One of the signal and characteristic qualities of humanity.
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Here's to woman! Would that we could fold into her arms without falling into her hands.
Ambrose Bierce
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REVEILLE, n. A signal to sleeping soldiers to dream of battlefields no more, but get up and have their blue noses counted.
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An army's bravest men are its cowards. The death which they would not meet at the hands of the enemy they will meet at the hands of their officers, with never a flinching.
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LIMB, n. The branch of a tree or the leg of an American woman.
Ambrose Bierce
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HOMOEOPATHY, n. A school of medicine midway between Allopathy and Christian Science. To the last both the others are distinctly inferior, for Christian Science will cure imaginary diseases, and they can not.
Ambrose Bierce
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OPIATE, n. An unlocked door in the prison of Identity. It leads into the jail yard.
Ambrose Bierce
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Income is the natural and rational gauge and measure of respectability.
Ambrose Bierce
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One engaged in a commercial pursuit. A commercial pursuit is one in which the thing pursued is a dollar.
Ambrose Bierce
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OUT-OF-DOORS, n. That part of one's environment upon which no government has been able to collect taxes. Chiefly useful to inspire poets.
Ambrose Bierce
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Advice, the smallest current coin.
Ambrose Bierce