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Enthusiasm - a distemper of youth, curable by small doses of repentance in connection with outward applications of experience.

Ambrose Bierce

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Ambrose Bierce
Born: 1842
Born: June 24
Aphorist
Journalist
Poet
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Meigs County
Ohio
Dod Grile
William Herman
Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce
Ambrose Bierce
Youth
Applications
Small
Dose
Experience
Outward
Reality
Repentance
Application
Connection
Distemper
Enthusiasm
Curable
Connections
Doses

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TRICHINOSIS, n. The pig's reply to proponents of porcophagy.
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Bore, n. A person who talks when you wish him to listen.
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applause, n. The echo of a platitude.
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RIGHTEOUSNESS, n. A sturdy virtue that was once found among the Pantidoodles inhabiting the lower part of the peninsula of Oque. Some feeble attempts were made by returned missionaries to introduce it into several European countries . .
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EXTINCTION, n. The raw material out of which theology created the future state.
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Good-bye -- if you hear of my being stood up against a stone wall and shot to rags please know that I think that a pretty good way to depart this life. It beats old age, disease or falling down the cellar stairs.
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LINEN, n. A kind of cloth the making of which, when made of hemp, entails a great waste of hemp.
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The most intolerant advocate is he who is trying to convince himself.
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Christian, n.: one who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his neighbor.
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SYCOPHANT- One who approaches Greatness on his belly so that he may not be commanded to turn and be kicked. He is sometimes an editor.
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EXHORT, v.t. In religious affairs, to put the conscience of another upon the spit and roast it to a nut-brown discomfort.
Ambrose Bierce
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MAMMON, n. The god of the world's leading religion. The chief temple is in the holy city of New York.
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Theology is a thing of unreason altogether, an edifice of assumptions and dreams, a superstructure without a substructure
Ambrose Bierce
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Opportunity: A favorable occasion for grasping a disappointment.
Ambrose Bierce
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PIE, n. An advance agent of the reaper whose name is Indigestion.
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Ambidextrous, adj.: Able to pick with equal skill a right-hand pocket or a left.
Ambrose Bierce
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mine, adj. Belonging to me if I can hold or seize it.
Ambrose Bierce
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It is evident that skepticism, while it makes no actual change in man, always makes him feel better.
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Creditor. One of a tribe of savages dwelling beyond the Financial Straits and dreaded for their desolating incursions.
Ambrose Bierce
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WIDOW, n. A pathetic figure that the Christian world has agreed to take humorously, although Christ's tenderness towards widows was one of the most marked features of his character.
Ambrose Bierce