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Calamities are of two kinds: misfortunes to ourselves, and good fortune to others.
Ambrose Bierce
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Ambrose Bierce
Born: 1842
Born: June 24
Aphorist
Journalist
Poet
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Meigs County
Ohio
Dod Grile
William Herman
Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce
Ambrose Bierce
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Hatred
Calamities
Fortune
Sarcasm
Funny
Calamity
Others
Jealousy
Two
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Misfortunes
Good
Definitions
More quotes by Ambrose Bierce
MERCY, n. An attribute beloved of detected offenders.
Ambrose Bierce
DISCUSSION, n. A method of confirming others in their errors.
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To seek a justification for a decision already made.
Ambrose Bierce
LIVER, n. A large red organ thoughtfully provided by nature to be bilious with. The liver is heaven's best gift to the goose without it that bird would be unable to supply us with the Strasbourg pate.
Ambrose Bierce
MEDICINE, n. A stone flung down the Bowery to kill a dog in Broadway.
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A modern school where football is taught.
Ambrose Bierce
A system of pitfalls thoughtfully prepared for the feet for the self-made man, along the path by which he advances to distinction.
Ambrose Bierce
INTERPRETER, n. One who enables two persons of different languages to understand each other by repeating to each what it would have been to the interpreter's advantage for the other to have said.
Ambrose Bierce
Confidante: One entrusted by A with the secrets of B confided to herself by C.
Ambrose Bierce
Honorable, adj.: Afflicted with an impediment in one's reach. In legislative bodies, it is customary to mention all members as honorable as, the honorable gentleman is a scurvy cur..
Ambrose Bierce
PLEONASM, n. An army of words escorting a corporal of thought.
Ambrose Bierce
A rabbit's foot may bring good luck to you, but it brought none to the rabbit.
Ambrose Bierce
PYRRHONISM- An ancient philosophy, named for its inventor. It consisted of an absolute disbelief in everything but Pyrrhonism. Its modern professors have added that.
Ambrose Bierce
RIBALDRY, n. Censorious language by another concerning oneself.
Ambrose Bierce
POSITIVISM- A philosophy that denies our knowledge of the Real and affirms our ignorance of the Apparent. Its longest exponent is Comte, its broadest Mill and its thickest Spencer.
Ambrose Bierce
A large stone presented by the archangel Gabriel to the patriarch Abraham, and preserved at Mecca. The patriarch had perhaps asked the archangel for bread.
Ambrose Bierce
Genius - to know without having learned to draw just conclusions from unknown premises to discern the soul of things.
Ambrose Bierce
EXTINCTION, n. The raw material out of which theology created the future state.
Ambrose Bierce
Achievement the death of endeavor and the birth of disgust.
Ambrose Bierce
PESSIMISM- philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile.
Ambrose Bierce
