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Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

Ambrose Bierce

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Ambrose Bierce
Born: 1842
Born: June 24
Aphorist
Journalist
Poet
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Meigs County
Ohio
Dod Grile
William Herman
Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce
Ambrose Bierce
Power
Blockheads
Persons
Patron
Person
Namely
Commonly
Invisible
Atheism
Seeing
Blockhead
Woman
Clairvoyant

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Doubt begins only at the last frontiers of what is possible.
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INTERPRETER, n. One who enables two persons of different languages to understand each other by repeating to each what it would have been to the interpreter's advantage for the other to have said.
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EXPOSTULATION, n. One of the many methods by which fools prefer to lose their friends.
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NIHILIST, n. A Russian who denies the existence of anything but Tolstoi. The leader of the school is Tolstoi.
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MARTYR, One who moves along the line of least reluctance to a desired death.
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A man is the sum of his ancestors to reform him you must begin with a dead ape and work downward through a million graves.
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Selfish, adj. Devoid of consideration for the selfishness of others.
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Dance, v.i. To leap about to the sound of tittering music, preferably with arms about your neighbor's wife or daughter. There are many kinds of dances, but all those requiring the participation of the two sexes have two characteristics in common: they are conspicuously innocent, and warmly loved by the vicious.
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The slightest acquaintance with history shows that powerful republics are the most warlike and unscrupulous of nations.
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CANNON, n. An instrument employed in the rectification of national boundaries.
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A leech who, having penetrated the shell of a turtle only to find that the creature has long been dead, deems it expedient to form a new attachment to a fresh turtle.
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Truth is so good a thing that falsehood can not afford to be without it.
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WOMAN, n. An animal usually living in the vicinity of Man, and having a rudimentary susceptibility to domestication.
Ambrose Bierce
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LOGOMACHY, n. A war in which the weapons are words and the wounds punctures in the swim-bladder of self-esteem - a kind of contest in which, the vanquished being unconscious of defeat, the victor is denied the reward of success.
Ambrose Bierce
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ECCENTRICITY, n. A method of distinction so cheap that fools employ it to accentuate their incapacity.
Ambrose Bierce
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To renounce an honor for an advantage. To renounce an advantage for a greater advantage.
Ambrose Bierce
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MANNA, n. A food miraculously given to the Israelites in the wilderness. When it was no longer supplied to them they settled down and tilled the soil, fertilizing it, as a rule, with the bodies of the original occupants.
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PUSH, n. One of the two things mainly conducive to success, especially in politics. The other is Pull.
Ambrose Bierce
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REBEL, n. A proponent of a new misrule who has failed to establish it.
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Anoint, v.: To grease a king or other great functionary already sufficiently slippery.
Ambrose Bierce