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Ambidextrous, adj.: Able to pick with equal skill a right-hand pocket or a left.

Ambrose Bierce

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Ambrose Bierce
Born: 1842
Born: June 24
Aphorist
Journalist
Poet
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Meigs County
Ohio
Dod Grile
William Herman
Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce
Ambrose Bierce
Right
Pick
Picks
Skills
Equal
Hand
Ambidextrous
Left
Pocket
Hands
Pockets
Able
Skill

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An old wine-bibber having been smashed in a railway collision, some wine was poured on his lips to revive him.
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Slang is the speech of him who robs the literary garbage carts on their way to the dumps.
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MAGIC, n. An art of converting superstition into coin. There are other arts serving the same high purpose, but the discreet lexicographer does not name them.
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PHYSICIAN, n. One upon whom we set our hopes when ill and our dogs when well.
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EXCEPTION, n. A thing which takes the liberty to differ from other things of its class, as an honest man, a truthful woman, etc.
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Telephone, n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance.
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NEIGHBOR, n. One whom we are commanded to love as ourselves, and who does all he knows how to make us disobedient.
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PRESIDENT, n. The leading figure in a small group of men of whom - and of whom only - it is positively known that immense numbers of their countrymen did not want any of them for President.
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REPLICA, n. A reproduction of a work of art, by the artist that made the original. It is so called to distinguish it from a copy, which is made by another artist. When the two are mae with equal skill the replica is the more valuable, for it is suppose
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Youth looks forward, for nothing is behind! Age backward, for nothing is before.
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Scribbler, n. A professional writer whose views are antagonistic to one's own.
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Noise: a stench in the ear.
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WHANGDEPOOTENAWAH, n. In the Ojibwa tongue, disaster an unexpected affliction that strikes hard.
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Pantheism, n. The doctrine that everything is God, in contradistinction to the doctrine that God is everything.
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PIRACY, n. Commerce without its folly-swaddles, just as God made it.
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Acquaintance: A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to. A degree of friendship called slight when its object is poor or obscure, and intimate when he is rich or famous.
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MAJESTY, n. The state and title of a king. Regarded with a just contempt by the Most Eminent Grand Masters, Grand Chancellors, Great Incohonees and Imperial Potentates of the ancient and honorable orders of republican America.
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One of the greatest of poets, Coleridge was one of the wisest of men, and it was not for nothing that he read us this parable. Let us have a little less of hands across the sea, and a little more of that elemental distrust that is the security of nations. War loves to come like a thief in the night professions of eternal amity provide the nigh
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LECTURER, n. One with his hand in your pocket, his tongue in your ear and his faith in your patience.
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When in Rome, do as Rome does.
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