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Witticism. A sharp and clever remark, usually quoted and seldom noted what the Philistine is pleased to call a joke.
Ambrose Bierce
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Ambrose Bierce
Born: 1842
Born: June 24
Aphorist
Journalist
Poet
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Meigs County
Ohio
Dod Grile
William Herman
Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce
Ambrose Bierce
Sharp
Witticism
Seldom
Philistine
Joke
Philistines
Clever
Quoted
Jokes
Noted
Usually
Remark
Call
Remarks
Pleased
More quotes by Ambrose Bierce
PRISON, n. A place of punishments and rewards. The poet assures us that - stone walls do not a prison make.
Ambrose Bierce
Edible, adj.: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm.
Ambrose Bierce
OLD, adj. In that stage of usefulness which is not inconsistent with general inefficiency, as an old man. Discredited by lapse of time and offensive to the popular taste, as an old book.
Ambrose Bierce
PRICE, n. Value, plus a reasonable sum for the wear and tear of conscience in demanding it.
Ambrose Bierce
MONARCHICAL GOVERNMENT, n. Government.
Ambrose Bierce
A popular author is one who writes what the people think. Genius invites them to think something else.
Ambrose Bierce
A large stone presented by the archangel Gabriel to the patriarch Abraham, and preserved at Mecca. The patriarch had perhaps asked the archangel for bread.
Ambrose Bierce
RIBALDRY, n. Censorious language by another concerning oneself.
Ambrose Bierce
Brain: an apparatus with which we think that we think. Mind, n. A mysterious form of matter secreted by the brain.
Ambrose Bierce
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
Ambrose Bierce
YANKEE, n. In Europe, an American. In the Northern States of our Union, a New Englander. In the Southern States the word is unknown.
Ambrose Bierce
Brain: an apparatus with which we think we think.
Ambrose Bierce
Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.
Ambrose Bierce
SCRAP-BOOK, n. A book that is commonly edited by a fool. Many persons of some small distinction compile scrap-books containing whatever they happen to read about themselves or employ others to collect.
Ambrose Bierce
International arbitration may be defined as the substitution of many burning questions for a smoldering one
Ambrose Bierce
AFFLICTION, n. An acclimatizing process preparing the soul for another and bitter world.
Ambrose Bierce
RECREATION, n. A particular kind of dejection to relieve a general fatigue.
Ambrose Bierce
INTIMACY, n. A relation into which fools are providentially drawn for their mutual destruction.
Ambrose Bierce
CARNIVOROUS, adj. Addicted to the cruelty of devouring the timorous vegetarian, his heirs and assigns.
Ambrose Bierce
Land: A part of the earth's surface, considered as property. The theory that land is property subject to private ownership and control is the foundation of modern society, and is eminently worthy of the superstructure.
Ambrose Bierce
