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Witticism. A sharp and clever remark, usually quoted and seldom noted what the Philistine is pleased to call a joke.

Ambrose Bierce

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Ambrose Bierce
Born: 1842
Born: June 24
Aphorist
Journalist
Poet
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Meigs County
Ohio
Dod Grile
William Herman
Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce
Ambrose Bierce
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Remarks
Pleased
Sharp
Witticism
Seldom
Philistine
Joke
Philistines
Clever
Quoted
Jokes
Noted
Usually
Remark

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Opportunity: A favorable occasion for grasping a disappointment.
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A miracle is an act or event out of the order of nature and unaccountable, as beating a normal hand of four kings and an ace with four aces and a king.
Ambrose Bierce
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RUSSIAN, n. A person with a Caucasian body and a Mongolian soul. A Tartar Emetic.
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Bore, n. A person who talks when you wish him to listen.
Ambrose Bierce
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To the eye of failure success is an accident.
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Quill: An instrument of torture yielded by a goose and commonly weilded by as ass.
Ambrose Bierce
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FICKLENESS, n. The iterated satiety of an enterprising affection.
Ambrose Bierce
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FOLLY, n. That gift and faculty divine whose creative and controlling energy inspires Man's mind, guides his actions and adorns his life.
Ambrose Bierce
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Miss: A title with which we brand unmarried women to indicate that they are in the market. Miss, Misses (Mrs.) and Mister (Mr.) are the three most distinctly disagreeable words in the language, in sound and sense.
Ambrose Bierce
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PLEONASM, n. An army of words escorting a corporal of thought.
Ambrose Bierce
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ARTLESSNESS, n. A certain engaging quality to which women attain by long study and severe practice upon the admiring male, who is pleased to fancy it resembles the candid simplicity of his young.
Ambrose Bierce
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HYDRA, n. A kind of animal that the ancients catalogued under many heads.
Ambrose Bierce
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The world has suffered more from the ravages of ill-advised marriages than from virginity.
Ambrose Bierce
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Fidelity - a virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.
Ambrose Bierce
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Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
Ambrose Bierce
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PHOTOGRAPH, n. A picture painted by the sun without instruction in art. It is a little better than the work of an Apache, but not quite so good as that of a Cheyenne.
Ambrose Bierce
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When in Rome, do as Rome does.
Ambrose Bierce
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GRAVE, n. A place in which the dead are laid to await the coming of the medical student.
Ambrose Bierce
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X, n. In our alphabet being a needless letter has an added invincibility to the attacks of the spelling reformers, and like them, will doubtless last as long as the language.
Ambrose Bierce
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IDLENESS, n. A model farm where the devil experiments with seeds of new sins and promotes the growth of staple vices.
Ambrose Bierce