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Wit - the salt with which the American humorist spoils his intellectual cookery by leaving it out.

Ambrose Bierce

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Ambrose Bierce
Born: 1842
Born: June 24
Aphorist
Journalist
Poet
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Meigs County
Ohio
Dod Grile
William Herman
Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce
Ambrose Bierce
Salt
Wit
Leaving
Intellectual
Humorist
Humor
Spoils
Literature
Cookery
American
Humorists
Spoil

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HEART, n. Figuratively, this useful organ is said to be the seat of emotions and sentiments . . . . It is now known that sentiments and emotions reside in the stomach, being evolved from food by chemical action of the gastric fluid.
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DIARY, n. A daily record of that part of one's life, which he can relate to himself without blushing.
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PLAGIARIZE, v. To take the thought or style of another writer whom one has never, never read.
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PIGMY, n. One of a tribe of very small men found by ancient travelers in many parts of the world, but by modern in Central Africa only. The Pigmies are so called to distinguish them from the bulkier Caucasians - who are Hogmies.
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CONGRESS, n. A body of men who meet to repeal laws.
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APHORISM, n. Predigested wisdom. The flabby wine-skin of his brain Yields to some pathologic strain, And voids from its unstored abysm The driblet of an aphorism. The Mad Philosopher, 1697
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Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion.
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NOUMENON, n. That which exists, as distinguished from that which merely seems to exist, the latter being a phenomenon. The noumenon is a bit difficult to locate it can be apprehended only by a process of reasoning - which is a phenomenon.
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Slang is the speech of him who robs the literary garbage carts on their way to the dumps.
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Condole - to show that bereavement is a smaller evil than sympathy.
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TABLE D'HOTE, n. A caterer's thrifty concession to the universal passion for irresponsibility.
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Reverence for the Supreme Being, based upon His supposed resemblance to man. The pig is taught by sermons and epistles / To think the God of Swine has snout and bristles.
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HOMŒOPATHIST, n. The humorist of the medical profession.
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The god of the world's leading religion.
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ASS, n. A public singer with a good voice but no ear.
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As a means of dispensing formulated ignorance our boasted public school system is not without merit it spreads out education sufficiently thin to give everyone enough to make him a more competent fool than he would have been without it.
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In theology, the state of a luckless mortal prenatally damned. The doctrine of reprobation was taught by Calvin, whose joy in it was somewhat marred by the sad sincerity of his conviction that although some are foredoomed to perdition, others are predestined to salvation.
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