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Wit - the salt with which the American humorist spoils his intellectual cookery by leaving it out.

Ambrose Bierce

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Ambrose Bierce
Born: 1842
Born: June 24
Aphorist
Journalist
Poet
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Meigs County
Ohio
Dod Grile
William Herman
Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce
Ambrose Bierce
Leaving
Intellectual
Humorist
Humor
Spoils
Literature
Cookery
American
Humorists
Spoil
Salt
Wit

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MONAD, n. The ultimate, indivisible unit of matter (see Molecule). The monad has body without bulk, and mind without manifestation - containing all the powers and possibilities needful to his evolution into a German philosopher . .
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There's no free will, says the philosopher To hang is most unjust. There is no free will, assents the officer We hang because we must.
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Molecule, n.: The ultimate, indivisible unit of matter. It is distinguished from the corpuscle, also the ultimate, indivisible unit of matter, by a closer resemblance to the atom, also the ultimate, indivisible unit of matter ... The ion differs from the molecule, the corpuscle and the atom in that it is an ion.
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MUMMY, n. - an ancient Egyptian handy, too, in museums in gratifying the vulgar curiosity that serves to distinguish man from the lower animals.
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POETRY, n. A form of expression peculiar to the Land beyond the Magazines.
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Fear has no brains it is an idiot.
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Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs.
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SYCOPHANT- One who approaches Greatness on his belly so that he may not be commanded to turn and be kicked. He is sometimes an editor.
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Habit: A shackle for the free.
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TEETOTALER, n. One who abstains from strong drink, sometimes totally, sometimes tolerably totally.
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TRICHINOSIS, n. The pig's reply to proponents of porcophagy.
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Example is better than following it.
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There was never a genius who was not thought a fool until he disclosed himself whereas he is a fool then only.
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Wisdom is known only by contrasting it with folly by shadow only we perceive that all visible objects are not flat. Yet Philanthropos would abolish evil!
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FOLLY, n. That gift and faculty divine whose creative and controlling energy inspires Man's mind, guides his actions and adorns his life.
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REFUSAL, n. Denial of something desired Refusals are graded in a descending scale of finality thus: the refusal absolute, the refusal condition, the refusal tentative and the refusal feminine. The last is called by some casuists the refusal assentive.
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KILT, n. A costume sometimes worn by Scotchmen in America and Americans in Scotland.
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DELEGATION, n. In American politics, an article of merchandise that comes in sets.
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One who, professing virtues that he does not respect, secures the advantage of seeming to be what he despises.
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Rome has seven sacraments, but the Protestant churches, being less prosperous, feel that they can afford only two, and these of inferior sanctity.
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