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Wit - the salt with which the American humorist spoils his intellectual cookery by leaving it out.

Ambrose Bierce

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Ambrose Bierce
Born: 1842
Born: June 24
Aphorist
Journalist
Poet
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Meigs County
Ohio
Dod Grile
William Herman
Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce
Ambrose Bierce
Salt
Wit
Leaving
Intellectual
Humorist
Humor
Spoils
Literature
Cookery
American
Humorists
Spoil

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WHEAT, n. A cereal from which a tolerably good whisky can be made . . . also for bread. The French are said to eat more bread per capita of population than any other people, which is natural, for only they know how to make the stuff palatable.
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BABE or BABY, n. A misshapen creature of no particular age, sex, or condition, chiefly remarkable for the violence of the sympathies and antipathies it excites in others, itself without sentiment or emotion.
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GRAVE, n. A place in which the dead are laid to await the coming of the medical student.
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MONARCH, n. A person engaged in reigning. Formerly the monarch ruled, as the derivation of the word attests, and as many subjects have had occasion to learn.
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The partisan strife in which the people of the country are permitted to periodically engage does not tend to the development of ugly traits of character, but merely discloses those that preexist.
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A popular writer writes about what people think. A wise writer offers them something to think about.
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Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
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One of the greatest of poets, Coleridge was one of the wisest of men, and it was not for nothing that he read us this parable. Let us have a little less of hands across the sea, and a little more of that elemental distrust that is the security of nations. War loves to come like a thief in the night professions of eternal amity provide the nigh
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Duty - that which sternly impels us in the direction of profit, along the line of desire.
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DECALOGUE, n. A series of commandments, ten in number - just enough to permit an intelligent selection for observance, but not enough to embarrass the choice.
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CRAYFISH, n. A small crustacean very much resembling the lobster, but less indigestible.
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PRE-EXISTENCE, n. An unnoted factor in creation.
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The poor man's price of admittance to the favor of the rich is his self-respect.
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Ambidextrous, adj.: Able to pick with equal skill a right-hand pocket or a left.
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Scriptures - The sacred books of our holy religion, as distinguished from the false and profane writings on which all other faiths are based.
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MARTYR, One who moves along the line of least reluctance to a desired death.
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Absence blots people out. We really have no absent friends.
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R.I.P. A careless abbreviation of requiescat in pace, attesting to indolent goodwill to the dead. According to the learned Dr. Drigge, however, the letters originally meant nothing more than reductus in pulvis.
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You don't have to be stupid to be a Christian, ... but it probably helps.
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