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Deliberation, n.: The act of examining one's bread to determine which side it is buttered on.

Ambrose Bierce

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Ambrose Bierce
Born: 1842
Born: June 24
Aphorist
Journalist
Poet
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Meigs County
Ohio
Dod Grile
William Herman
Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce
Ambrose Bierce
Bread
Determine
Side
Food
Buttered
Sides
Deliberation
Examining
Culinary
Cooking

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ILLUSTRIOUS, adj. Suitably placed for the shafts of malice, envy and detraction.
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EXTINCTION, n. The raw material out of which theology created the future state.
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Anoint, v.: To grease a king or other great functionary already sufficiently slippery.
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Fear has no brains it is an idiot. The dismal witness that it bears and the cowardly counsel that it whispers are unrelated.
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RUIN, v. To destroy. Specifically, to destroy a maid's belief in the virtue of maids.
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General, said the commander of the delinquent brigade, I am persuaded that any further display of valor by my troops will bring them into collision with the enemy.
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Convictions are variable to be always consistent is to be sometimes dishonest.
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Jealous, adj. Unduly concerned about the preservation of that which can be lost only if not worth keeping.
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No country is so wild and difficult but men will make it a theater of war.
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The clarinet is a musical instrument the only thing worse than which is two.
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Death is a dignitary who when he comes announced is received with formal manifestations of respect, even by those most familiar with him. In the code of military etiquette silence and fixity are forms of deference
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Suffrage, noun. Expression of opinion by means of a ballot. The right of suffrage (which is held to be both a privilege and a duty) means, as commonly interpreted, the right to vote for the man of another man's choice, and is highly prized.
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RADIUM, n. A mineral that gives off heat and stimulates the organ that a scientist is a fool with.
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REFLECTION,n: An Action of the mind whereby we obtain a clearer view of our relation to the things of yesterday and are able to avoid the perils that we shall not again encounter
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DELUGE, n. A notable first experiment in baptism which washed away the sins (and sinners) of the world.
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Homo Creator's testimony to the sound construction and fine finish of Deus Creatus. A popular form of abjection, having an element of pride.
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Self-denial is indulgence of a propensity to forego.
Ambrose Bierce
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FIDDLE, n. An instrument to tickle human ears by friction of a horse's tail on the entrails of a cat.
Ambrose Bierce
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Architect. One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money.
Ambrose Bierce
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Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.
Ambrose Bierce