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Inventor: A person who makes an ingenious arrangement of wheels, levers and springs, and believes it civilization.
Ambrose Bierce
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Ambrose Bierce
Born: 1842
Born: June 24
Aphorist
Journalist
Poet
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Meigs County
Ohio
Dod Grile
William Herman
Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce
Ambrose Bierce
Believe
Invention
Levers
Spring
Arrangement
Civilization
Ingenious
Technology
Inventor
Science
Springs
Makes
Arrangements
Persons
Wheels
Person
Believes
More quotes by Ambrose Bierce
TRUTHFUL, adj. Dumb and illiterate.
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Politeness, n: The most acceptable hypocrisy.
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Edible, adj.: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm.
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ELEGY, n. A composition in verse, in which, without employing any of the methods of humor, the writer aims to produce in the reader's mind the dampest kind of dejection.
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TEETOTALER, n. One who abstains from strong drink, sometimes totally, sometimes tolerably totally.
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Eloquence, n. The art of orally persuading fools that white is the color that it appears to be. It includes the gift of making any color appear white.
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Age is provident because the less future we have the more we fear it.
Ambrose Bierce
You cannot adopt politics as a profession and remain honest.
Ambrose Bierce
RASCALITY, n. Stupidity militant. The activity of a clouded intellect.
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True, man does not know woman. But neither does woman.
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Litigant. A person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bones.
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MYTHOLOGY, n. The body of a primitive people's beliefs concerning its origin, early history, heroes, deities and so forth, as distinguished from the true accounts which it invents later.
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RADIUM, n. A mineral that gives off heat and stimulates the organ that a scientist is a fool with.
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SATIRE, n. An obsolete kind of literary composition in which the vices and follies of the author's enemies were expounded with imperfect tenderness.
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PROPHECY, n. The art and practice of selling one's credibility for future delivery.
Ambrose Bierce
Fidelity - a virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.
Ambrose Bierce
Introduction - a social ceremony invented by the devil for the gratification of his servants and the plaguing of his enemies.
Ambrose Bierce
HEART, n. Figuratively, this useful organ is said to be the seat of emotions and sentiments . . . . It is now known that sentiments and emotions reside in the stomach, being evolved from food by chemical action of the gastric fluid.
Ambrose Bierce
Anoint, v.: To grease a king or other great functionary already sufficiently slippery.
Ambrose Bierce
To those who view the voyage of life from the port of departure the bark that has accomplished any considerable distance appears already in close approach to the farther shore.
Ambrose Bierce
