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Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.
Ambrose Bierce
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Ambrose Bierce
Born: 1842
Born: June 24
Aphorist
Journalist
Poet
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Meigs County
Ohio
Dod Grile
William Herman
Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce
Ambrose Bierce
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Cynicism is that blackguard defect of vision which compels us to see the world as it is, instead of as it should be.
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ASS, n. A public singer with a good voice but no ear.
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Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.
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HEART, n. Figuratively, this useful organ is said to be the seat of emotions and sentiments . . . . It is now known that sentiments and emotions reside in the stomach, being evolved from food by chemical action of the gastric fluid.
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Telephone, n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance.
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A popular vote to ascertain the will of the sovereign.
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RIBALDRY, n. Censorious language by another concerning oneself.
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In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.
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Scriptures - The sacred books of our holy religion, as distinguished from the false and profane writings on which all other faiths are based.
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IMPOSTOR n. A rival aspirant to public honors.
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Here's to woman! Would that we could fold into her arms without falling into her hands.
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Hypocrisy: prejudice with a halo.
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Wit - the salt with which the American humorist spoils his intellectual cookery by leaving it out.
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RATTLESNAKE, n. Our prostrate brother, Homo ventrambulans.
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ZIGZAG, v.t. To move forward uncertainly, from side to side, as one carrying the white man's burden.
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REASON, n. Propensitate of prejudice.
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DISCRIMINATE, v.i. To note the particulars in which one person or thing is, if possible, more objectionable than another.
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In the algebra of psychology, X stands for a woman's heart.
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The god of the world's leading religion.
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Children who have proven themselves to be incorrigible by the age of twelve should be quickly and quietly beheaded, lest they grow to maturity, marry, and perpetuate the likeness of their being.
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