Quote

Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.

Ambrose Bierce

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Ambrose Bierce
Born: 1842
Born: June 24
Aphorist
Journalist
Poet
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Meigs County
Ohio
Dod Grile
William Herman
Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce
Ambrose Bierce
Used
Mouth
Fork
Mouths
Forks
Instruments
Chiefly
Putting
Vegan
Animals
Culinary
Dead
Sarcastic
Animal
Vegetarian
Purpose
Instrument

More quotes by Ambrose Bierce

Image
LECTURER, n. One with his hand in your pocket, his tongue in your ear and his faith in your patience.
Ambrose Bierce
Image
IDLENESS, n. A model farm where the devil experiments with seeds of new sins and promotes the growth of staple vices.
Ambrose Bierce
Image
Mausoleum, n: the final and funniest folly of the rich.
Ambrose Bierce
Image
prospect, n. An outlook, usually forbidding. An expectation, usually forbidden.
Ambrose Bierce
Image
CALAMITY, n. A more than commonly plain and unmistakable reminder that the affairs of this life are not of our own ordering. Calamities are of two kinds: misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others.
Ambrose Bierce
Image
When lost in a forest go always down hill. When lost in a philosophy or doctrine go upward.
Ambrose Bierce
Image
The god of the world's leading religion.
Ambrose Bierce
Image
MOUTH, n. In man, the gateway to the soul in woman, the outlet of the heart.
Ambrose Bierce
Image
HARMONISTS, n. A sect of Protestants, now extinct, who came from Europe in the beginning of the last century and were distinguished for the bitterness of their internal controversies and dissensions.
Ambrose Bierce
Image
GEOGRAPHER, n. A chap who can tell you offhand the difference between the outside of the world and the inside.
Ambrose Bierce
Image
PREDESTINATION, n. The doctrine that all things occur according to programme. . . . not be confused with that of foreordination. The difference is great enough to have deluged Christendom with ink, to say nothing of the gore.
Ambrose Bierce
Image
April fool, n. The March fool with another month added to his folly.
Ambrose Bierce
Image
Philosophy: A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.
Ambrose Bierce
Image
NON-COMBATANT, n. A dead Quaker.
Ambrose Bierce
Image
An army's bravest men are its cowards. The death which they would not meet at the hands of the enemy they will meet at the hands of their officers, with never a flinching.
Ambrose Bierce
Image
HERMIT, n. A person whose vices and follies are not sociable.
Ambrose Bierce
Image
DECIDE, v.i. To succumb to the preponderance of one set of influences over another set.
Ambrose Bierce
Image
LIVER, n. A large red organ thoughtfully provided by nature to be bilious with. The liver is heaven's best gift to the goose without it that bird would be unable to supply us with the Strasbourg pate.
Ambrose Bierce
Image
DIGESTION, n. The conversion of victuals into virtues. When the process is imperfect, vices are evolved instead - a circumstance from which that wicked writer, Dr. Jeremiah Blenn, infers that the ladies are the greater sufferers from dyspepsia.
Ambrose Bierce
Image
Even the laws of justice themselves cannot subsist without mixture of injustice.
Ambrose Bierce