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What is a democrat? One who believes that the republicans have ruined the country. What is a republican? One who believes that the democrats would ruin the country.

Ambrose Bierce

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Ambrose Bierce
Born: 1842
Born: June 24
Aphorist
Journalist
Poet
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Meigs County
Ohio
Dod Grile
William Herman
Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce
Ambrose Bierce
Would
Politician
Ruin
Republican
Ruined
Humor
Republicans
Politics
Democrats
Party
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Funny
Ruins
Country
Humorous
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Democrat

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Disobey n:To celebrate with an appropriate ceremony the maturity of a command
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ORTHOGRAPHY, n. The science of spelling by the eye instead of the ear.
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Experience - the wisdom that enables us to recognise in an undesirable old acquaintance the folly that we have already embraced.
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POETRY, n. A form of expression peculiar to the Land beyond the Magazines.
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Hypocrisy: prejudice with a halo.
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DEPENDENT, adj. Reliant upon another's generosity for the support which you are not in a position to exact from his fears.
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HUSBAND, n. One who, having dined, is charged with the care of the plate.
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GRAPESHOT, n. An argument which the future is preparing in answer to the demands of American Socialism.
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PYRRHONISM- An ancient philosophy, named for its inventor. It consisted of an absolute disbelief in everything but Pyrrhonism. Its modern professors have added that.
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Democracy is defended in 3 stages. Ballot Box, Jury Box, Cartridge Box.
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RESPITE, n. A suspension of hostilities against a sentenced assassin, to enable the Executive to determine whether the murder may not have been done by the prosecuting attorney. Any break in the continuity of a disagreeable expectation.
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Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.
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An auctioneer is a man who proclaims with a hammer that he has picked a pocket with his tongue.
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EXHORT, v.t. In religious affairs, to put the conscience of another upon the spit and roast it to a nut-brown discomfort.
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SPOOKER, n. A writer whose imagination concerns itself with supernatural phenomena, especially in the doings of spooks.
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WHEAT, n. A cereal from which a tolerably good whisky can be made . . . also for bread. The French are said to eat more bread per capita of population than any other people, which is natural, for only they know how to make the stuff palatable.
Ambrose Bierce
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SATIETY, n. The feeling that one has for the plate after he has eaten its contents, madam.
Ambrose Bierce
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HOMOEOPATHY, n. A school of medicine midway between Allopathy and Christian Science. To the last both the others are distinctly inferior, for Christian Science will cure imaginary diseases, and they can not.
Ambrose Bierce
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INTIMACY, n. A relation into which fools are providentially drawn for their mutual destruction.
Ambrose Bierce