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Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.

Ambrose Bierce

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Ambrose Bierce
Born: 1842
Born: June 24
Aphorist
Journalist
Poet
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Meigs County
Ohio
Dod Grile
William Herman
Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce
Ambrose Bierce
Come
Litigation
Lawsuit
Sausage
Pigs
Machine
Lawyer
Machines
Law

More quotes by Ambrose Bierce

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Honorable, adj.: Afflicted with an impediment in one's reach. In legislative bodies, it is customary to mention all members as honorable as, the honorable gentleman is a scurvy cur..
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Brain: an apparatus with which we think that we think. Mind, n. A mysterious form of matter secreted by the brain.
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RECOUNT, n. In American politics, another throw of the dice, accorded to the player against whom they are loaded.
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FLAG, n. A colored rag borne above troops and hoisted on forts and ships. It appears to serve the same purpose as certain signs that one sees and vacant lots in London
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Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.
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QUORUM, n. A sufficient number of members of a deliberative body to have their own way and their own way of having it. In the U.S. Senate a quorum consists of the chairman of the Committee on Finance and a messenger from the White House.
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Insurance - an ingenious modern game of chance in which the player is permitted to enjoy the comfortable conviction that he is beating the man who keeps the table.
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Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum -- I think that I think, therefore I think that I am as close an approach to certainty as any philosopher has yet made.
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An ingenious compound of desirability and appearance. Discovery of truth is the sole purpose of philosophy, which is the most ancient occupation of the human mind and has a fair prospect of existing with increasing activity to the end of time.
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OSTRICH, n. A large bird to which (for its sins, doubtless) nature has denied that hinder toe . . . . The absence of a good working pair of wings is no defect, for, as has been ingeniously pointed out, the ostrich does not fly.
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Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
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There was never a genius who was not thought a fool until he disclosed himself whereas he is a fool then only.
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gratitude, n. A sentiment lying midway between a benefit received and a benefit expected.
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URBANITY, n. The kind of civility that urban observers ascribe to dwellers in all cities but New York. Its commonest expression is heard in the words, I beg your pardon, and it is not consistent with disregard of the rights of others.
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MAGNITUDE, n. Size [that is] purely relative. If everything in the universe were increased 1,000 diameters nothing would be any larger than it was before, but if one thing remain unchanged all the others would be larger than they had been.
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Age is provident because the less future we have the more we fear it.
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NEIGHBOR, n. One whom we are commanded to love as ourselves, and who does all he knows how to make us disobedient.
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SYLLOGISM, n. A logical formula consisting of a major and a minor assumption and an inconsequent.
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art, n. This word has no definition.
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DISCUSSION, n. A method of confirming others in their errors.
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