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Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.

Ambrose Bierce

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Ambrose Bierce
Born: 1842
Born: June 24
Aphorist
Journalist
Poet
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Meigs County
Ohio
Dod Grile
William Herman
Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce
Ambrose Bierce
Religion
Gills
Science
Occupying
Nature
Sarcastic
Two
Beach
Body
Thirds
Made
Sea
Men
Ocean
World
Water

More quotes by Ambrose Bierce

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gratitude, n. A sentiment lying midway between a benefit received and a benefit expected.
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OPIATE, n. An unlocked door in the prison of Identity. It leads into the jail yard.
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Politeness, n: The most acceptable hypocrisy.
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PLUNDER, v. To take the property of another without observing the decent and customary reticences of theft. To wrest the wealth of A from B and leave C lamenting a vanishing opportunity.
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TRUTHFUL, adj. Dumb and illiterate.
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STORY, n. A narrative, commonly untrue. The truth of the stories here following has, however, not been successfully impeached.
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Deliberation, n.: The act of examining one's bread to determine which side it is buttered on.
Ambrose Bierce
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MISCREANT, n. A person of the highest degree of unworth. Etymologically, the word means unbeliever, and its present signification may be regarded as theology's noblest contribution to the development of our language.
Ambrose Bierce
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Impartial - unable to perceive any promise of personal advantage from espousing either side of a controversy.
Ambrose Bierce
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Doubt begins only at the last frontiers of what is possible.
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PORTUGUESE, n.pl. A species of geese indigenous to Portugal. They are mostly without feathers and imperfectly edible, even when stuffed with garlic.
Ambrose Bierce
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HUSBAND, n. One who, having dined, is charged with the care of the plate.
Ambrose Bierce
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There are two instruments worse than a clarinet - two clarinets.
Ambrose Bierce
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WOMAN, n. An animal usually living in the vicinity of Man, and having a rudimentary susceptibility to domestication.
Ambrose Bierce
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VANITY, n. The tribute of a fool to the worth of the nearest ass.
Ambrose Bierce
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When publicly censured our first instinct is to make everybody a codefendant.
Ambrose Bierce
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WHEAT, n. A cereal from which a tolerably good whisky can be made . . . also for bread. The French are said to eat more bread per capita of population than any other people, which is natural, for only they know how to make the stuff palatable.
Ambrose Bierce
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Happiness: an agreeable sensation arising from contemplating the misery of another.
Ambrose Bierce
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Women in love are less ashamed than men. They have less to be ashamed of.
Ambrose Bierce
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ASS, n. A public singer with a good voice but no ear.
Ambrose Bierce