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Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs.

Ambrose Bierce

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Ambrose Bierce
Born: 1842
Born: June 24
Aphorist
Journalist
Poet
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Meigs County
Ohio
Dod Grile
William Herman
Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce
Ambrose Bierce
Thinks
Courage
Perilous
Military
Emergency
Peace
Emergencies
War
Cowardice
Thinking
Sarcastic
Coward
Legs

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Insurrection. An unsuccessful revolution disaffection's failure to substitute misrule for bad government.
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OVATION, n. n ancient Rome, a definite, formal pageant in honor of one who had been disserviceable to the enemies of the nation. A lesser triumph.
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Opportunity: A favorable occasion for grasping a disappointment.
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Good-bye -- if you hear of my being stood up against a stone wall and shot to rags please know that I think that a pretty good way to depart this life. It beats old age, disease or falling down the cellar stairs.
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SIREN, n. One of several musical prodigies famous for a vain attempt to dissuade Odysseus from a life on the ocean wave. Figuratively, any lady of splendid promise, dissembled purpose and disappointing performance.
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A violin is the revenge exacted by the intestines of a dead cat.
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DEINOTHERIUM, n. An extinct pachyderm that flourished when the Pterodactyl was in fashion. The latter was a native of Ireland, its name being pronounced Terry Dactyl or Peter O'Dactyl, as the man pronouncing it may chance to have heard it spoken or seen it printed.
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CLERGYMAN, n. A man who undertakes the management of our spiritual affairs as a method of better his temporal ones.
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Christian, n.: one who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his neighbor.
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Peace in international affairs: a period of cheating between periods of fighting
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PLAGUE, n. In ancient times a general punishment of the innocent for admonition of their ruler, as in the familiar instance of Pharaoh the Immune. The plague today . . . is merely Nature's fortuitous manifestation of her purposeless objectionableness.
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Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
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ARMOR, n. The kind of clothing worn by a man whose tailor is a blacksmith.
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SYLLOGISM, n. A logical formula consisting of a major and a minor assumption and an inconsequent.
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PERFECTION, n. An imaginary state of quality distinguished from the actual by an element known as excellence an attribute of the critic.
Ambrose Bierce
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REVOLUTION, n. A bursting of the boilers which usually takes place when the safety valve of public discussion is closed.
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A comely female inhabiting the Mohammedan Paradise to make things cheery for the good Mussulman, whose belief in her existence marks a noble discontent with his earthly spouse, whom he denies a soul.
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Justice is a commodity which in a more or less adulterated condition the State sells to the citizen as a reward for his allegiance, taxes and personal service.
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Ambition. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by friends when dead.
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VANITY, n. The tribute of a fool to the worth of the nearest ass.
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