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Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.

Ambrose Bierce

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Ambrose Bierce
Born: 1842
Born: June 24
Aphorist
Journalist
Poet
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Meigs County
Ohio
Dod Grile
William Herman
Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce
Ambrose Bierce
Conservative
Statesmen
Politician
Conservatism
Politics
Evils
Evil
Replace
Wish
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Existing
Statesmanship
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Liberal
Statesman

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GUNPOWDER, n. An agency employed by civilized nations for the settlement of disputes which might become troublesome if left unadjusted.
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Saint: A dead sinner revised and edited.
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Even the laws of justice themselves cannot subsist without mixture of injustice.
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DECALOGUE, n. A series of commandments, ten in number - just enough to permit an intelligent selection for observance, but not enough to embarrass the choice.
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True, man does not know woman. But neither does woman.
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PRIVATE, n. A military gentleman with a field-marshal's baton in his knapsack and an impediment in his hope.
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Don't board with the devil if you wish to be fat.
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ARMOR, n. The kind of clothing worn by a man whose tailor is a blacksmith.
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Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.
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Aristocrats: n. fellows that wear downy hats and clean shirts - guilty of education and suspected of bank accounts.
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The fact that boys are allowed to exist at all is evidence of remarkable Christian forbearance among men - were it not for a mawkish humanitarianism, coupled with imperfect digestive powers, we should devour our young, as Nature intended.
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A chop is a piece of leather skillfully attached to a bone and administered to the patients at restaurants.
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RAREBIT n. A Welsh rabbit, in the speech of the humorless, who point out that it is not a rabbit. To whom it may be solemnly explained that the comestible known as toad-in-a-hole is really not a toad, and that riz-de-veau à la financière is not the smile of a calf prepared after the recipe of a she banker.
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Perseverance - a lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success.
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Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs.
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To apologize is to lay the foundation for a future offense.
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Damning, with bell, book and candle / Some sinner whose opinions are a scandal. / A rite permitting Satan to enslave him / Forever, and forbidding Christ to save him.
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RUSSIAN, n. A person with a Caucasian body and a Mongolian soul. A Tartar Emetic.
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REPUBLIC, n. A nation in which, the thing governing and the thing governed being the same, there is only a permitted authority to enforce an optional obedience.
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One engaged in a commercial pursuit. A commercial pursuit is one in which the thing pursued is a dollar.
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