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The same men who are placing all these outrageous restrictions on women’s freedoms in southern Somalia – that type of mentality – that’s what I had to deal with in captivity.
Amanda Lindhout
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Amanda Lindhout
Age: 43
Born: 1981
Born: June 12
Autobiographer
Humanitarian
Journalist
Scott
Southern
Somalia
Type
Captivity
Deal
Placing
Deals
Restrictions
Women
Freedoms
Men
Restriction
Outrageous
Mentality
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Because that’s the thing about the exact moment when you get somewhere that has required effort: There’s a freeze-frame instant of total fulfillment, when every expectation has been met and the world is perfect.
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I, too, was carrying around my own fate. All the things I couldn't know sat somewhere inside, embroidered into me-maybe not quite fixed to the point of inevitability but waiting, in any event, for a chance to unspool.
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I've realized that the world is, in essence, full of banana peels - loaded with things that may unwittingly trip an internal wire in my mind, opening a floodgate of fears without warning.
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The road to recovery will not always be easy, but I will take it one day at a time, focusing on the moments I've dreamed about for so long.
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Friendships that don't fit my life anymore have faded away, and new ones have come in.
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I'm afraid of elevators, because they are an enclosed space, but I get in.
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Christmas was the one time of year when my brothers surfaced at home, when my parents and grandparents congregated to eat my mother's roast turkey.
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I used my captors names every chance I had. It was intentional, a way of reminding them that I saw them, of pegging them, of making them see me in return.
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Contemplating Christmas when you are isolated and far from home brings its own unique pain.
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I know firsthand how critical support systems are.
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Women in Somalia face almost unimaginable oppression.
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A little goes a long way in Somalia: $5 will feed a person there for about two weeks.
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I'm not afraid of IED's, bullets, mortars.
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I swung from one place to the next, sometimes backward, sometimes forward, capitalizing on my own momentum, knowing that at some point my arms—or, more accurately, my quivering bank balance, accessed through foreign ATMs—would give out, and I’d fall to the ground.
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Maintaining my dignity is so important for me.
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Every day I have many choices to make about who I want to be.
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In my version of paradise, the air was always cold and the rivers ran with candy.
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Forgiving is not an easy thing to do.
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Being in the dark, there's a real weight to it. It's heavy.
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I think that I find a lot of my healing out in the world.
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