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After being in captivity for so long, I can't begin to describe how wonderful it feels to be home in Canada.

Amanda Lindhout

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Amanda Lindhout
Age: 43
Born: 1981
Born: June 12
Autobiographer
Humanitarian
Journalist
Scott
Wonderful
Home
Feels
Long
Captivity
Describe
Canada
Begin

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Forgiving is not an easy thing to do.
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Christmas was the one time of year when my brothers surfaced at home, when my parents and grandparents congregated to eat my mother's roast turkey.
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I swung from one place to the next, sometimes backward, sometimes forward, capitalizing on my own momentum, knowing that at some point my arms—or, more accurately, my quivering bank balance, accessed through foreign ATMs—would give out, and I’d fall to the ground.
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I used my captors names every chance I had. It was intentional, a way of reminding them that I saw them, of pegging them, of making them see me in return.
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The road to recovery will not always be easy, but I will take it one day at a time, focusing on the moments I've dreamed about for so long.
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I, too, was carrying around my own fate. All the things I couldn't know sat somewhere inside, embroidered into me-maybe not quite fixed to the point of inevitability but waiting, in any event, for a chance to unspool.
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Every day I have many choices to make about who I want to be.
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I am so proud to be a Canadian.
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I think that I find a lot of my healing out in the world.
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I think it's the human spirit inside of all of us that has an enormous capacity to survive.
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Getting on a plane is hard for me, but I do it, because travel is vital to me.
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I've realized that the world is, in essence, full of banana peels - loaded with things that may unwittingly trip an internal wire in my mind, opening a floodgate of fears without warning.
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We all waited on an afterlife. Only I planned to be alive for mine.
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I don't think I'm unusual in that, in my 20s, like many people, I felt invincible.
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The same men who are placing all these outrageous restrictions on women’s freedoms in southern Somalia – that type of mentality – that’s what I had to deal with in captivity.
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I don't only long for the thrill of being in the middle of a war, I must understand it I must make other people understand.
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Friendships that don't fit my life anymore have faded away, and new ones have come in.
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Maintaining my dignity is so important for me.
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Being in the dark, there's a real weight to it. It's heavy.
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Contemplating Christmas when you are isolated and far from home brings its own unique pain.
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