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Contemplating Christmas when you are isolated and far from home brings its own unique pain.

Amanda Lindhout

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Amanda Lindhout
Age: 43
Born: 1981
Born: June 12
Autobiographer
Humanitarian
Journalist
Scott
Unique
Pain
Home
Contemplating
Isolated
Christmas
Brings

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Maintaining my dignity is so important for me.
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Being in the dark, there's a real weight to it. It's heavy.
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Women in Somalia face almost unimaginable oppression.
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I, too, was carrying around my own fate. All the things I couldn't know sat somewhere inside, embroidered into me-maybe not quite fixed to the point of inevitability but waiting, in any event, for a chance to unspool.
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I know firsthand how critical support systems are.
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We all waited on an afterlife. Only I planned to be alive for mine.
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The road to recovery will not always be easy, but I will take it one day at a time, focusing on the moments I've dreamed about for so long.
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After being in captivity for so long, I can't begin to describe how wonderful it feels to be home in Canada.
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I don't only long for the thrill of being in the middle of a war, I must understand it I must make other people understand.
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The same men who are placing all these outrageous restrictions on women’s freedoms in southern Somalia – that type of mentality – that’s what I had to deal with in captivity.
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Every day I have many choices to make about who I want to be.
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I think that I find a lot of my healing out in the world.
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I have watched lives change. I have seen women gain confidence.
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I'm afraid of elevators, because they are an enclosed space, but I get in.
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I'm not afraid of IED's, bullets, mortars.
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I've realized that the world is, in essence, full of banana peels - loaded with things that may unwittingly trip an internal wire in my mind, opening a floodgate of fears without warning.
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I swung from one place to the next, sometimes backward, sometimes forward, capitalizing on my own momentum, knowing that at some point my arms—or, more accurately, my quivering bank balance, accessed through foreign ATMs—would give out, and I’d fall to the ground.
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I think it's the human spirit inside of all of us that has an enormous capacity to survive.
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Because that’s the thing about the exact moment when you get somewhere that has required effort: There’s a freeze-frame instant of total fulfillment, when every expectation has been met and the world is perfect.
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