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I never rated my cuddle factor, but I expect it's pretty low.

Alton Brown

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Alton Brown
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: July 30
Actor
Author
Chef
Cinematographer
Musician
Television Personality
Voice Actor
Writer
LA
California
Alton Crawford Walter Brown
Alton Crawford Brown
Never
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More quotes by Alton Brown

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I grill, therefore I am.
Alton Brown
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What tends to happen is that people will go - they've got hot broth, you know, they've added some liquid to their drippings, they've brought that up to heat. And then they try to add in a big clump of just kind of a handful of flour, and of course, it turns into library paste.
Alton Brown
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I love to have battles of the wits with people that can dish fast and dirty - and it leads to problems occasionally, 'cause I can sound mean without attempting to be mean.
Alton Brown
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The stubby French painter Toulouse-Lautrec supposedly invented chocolate mousse - I find that rather hard to believe, but there you have it.
Alton Brown
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I love poking fun at myself. I have a rather mean sense of humor.
Alton Brown
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I want to bring things up to room temperature, especially poultry, before I cook it because I want it to cook faster so that there's less moisture loss.
Alton Brown
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If you really love stuffing, wait until the turkey comes out of the oven, add some of the pan drippings to the stuffing, and bake it in a dish. That's called dressing, and that's not evil - stuffing is, though.
Alton Brown
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Everything in food is science. The only subjective part is when you eat it.
Alton Brown
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Basting is evil. Basting does nothing for the meat. Why? Skin. Skin is designed to keep stuff out of the bird, so basting just lets heat out of the oven. That means the turkey will take longer to cook... so don't touch that door!
Alton Brown
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I feel like being on Broadway will convince my mother that my theater degree was worth it.
Alton Brown
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That's the ultimate goal of most turkey recipes: to create a great skin and stuffing to hide the fact that turkey meat, in its cooked state, is dry and flavorless. Does it have to be that way? No. We just have to focus on what the turkey is and what the turkey needs.
Alton Brown
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Now my wife may think she's locked me out of the kitchen but MacGyver's not my patron saint for nothing.
Alton Brown
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Seriously. I'm not very bright, and it takes a lot for me to get a concept - to really get a concept. To get it enough that it becomes part of me. But when it happens I get real excited about it
Alton Brown
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Lumps are caused by one thing and one thing alone - the improper addition of a starch.
Alton Brown
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The only unitasker allowed in my kitchen is a fire extinguisher.
Alton Brown
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I say grace. I'm a big believer in grace. I happen to believe in a God that made all the food and so I'm pretty grateful for that and I thank him for that. But I'm also thankful for the people that put the food on the table.
Alton Brown
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The way to any woman's heart, be she witch or Wonderwoman, princess or Pocahontas, is through her stomach.
Alton Brown
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There are no bad foods, only bad food habits.
Alton Brown
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So on one hand, honey is an amazingly sophisticated and efficient food source. On the other hand, it's bee backwash.
Alton Brown
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Good service can save a bad meal, but there is no level of food that can save bad service.
Alton Brown