Quote

Slicing a warm slab of bacon is a lot like giving a ferret a shave. No matter how careful you are, somebody's going to get hurt.

Alton Brown

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Alton Brown
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: July 30
Actor
Author
Chef
Cinematographer
Musician
Television Personality
Voice Actor
Writer
LA
California
Alton Crawford Walter Brown
Alton Crawford Brown
Going
Bacon
Like
Warm
Careful
Slab
Somebody
Ferret
Food
Slicing
Hurt
Slabs
Matter
Ferrets
Giving
Shave

More quotes by Alton Brown

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If I took my turkey out of the refrigerator and, like, threw it in a dumpster or drug it down the street in New York for a while [it will make people sick].
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I know people that could serve me canned tuna and saltine crackers and have me feel more at home at their table than some people who can cook circles around me. The more you try to impress people, generally the less you do.
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I'm an absolute connoisseur of cheeseburgers and like to think that I can detect even mere percentages of shift in fat content in ground meat in a burger and can actually name the temperature to which it was actually cooked to the degree if I'm, you know, really on my game.
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Take ice. Ice is fascinating to me. Ice is the one thing in our world that went from an agricultural product to being manufactured.
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So on one hand, honey is an amazingly sophisticated and efficient food source. On the other hand, it's bee backwash.
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You know we fixate on the food so much itself: “Oh, the ultimate brownie or the ultimate this or that” -- well, let me tell you something: It’s all poop in about 12 hours, okay? The real power that food has is its ability to connect human beings to each other -- that’s the stuff right there and, to me, everything else is secondary to that.
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I'm not a slave driver or a yeller. I was yelled at in kitchens and other workplaces.
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Believe me, a grain is a terrible thing to waste.
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My advice: write down everything you eat. It's amazing what that self honesty can do for you. (Do you really want to have to confess that doughnut? I thought not.)
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Very good cooks who are employed as 'chefs' rarely refer to themselves as 'chefs.' They refer to themselves as 'cooks.'
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Gluttony is wrong. It's wasteful.
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I'm just sitting around thinking about turkey.
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I grill almost all of my fish with the skin on because that gives you real protection at least on one side. It's a nice barrier against super high heat which tends to make a lot of fish to turn really flaky. It's very easy to overcook fish on the grill. But I still brush it with oil before I start.
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The way to any woman's heart, be she witch or Wonderwoman, princess or Pocahontas, is through her stomach.
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Although I don't take myself very seriously, I do take my work extraordinarily seriously.
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I say grace. I'm a big believer in grace. I happen to believe in a God that made all the food and so I'm pretty grateful for that and I thank him for that. But I'm also thankful for the people that put the food on the table.
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I want to bring things up to room temperature, especially poultry, before I cook it because I want it to cook faster so that there's less moisture loss.
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The problem is I am both a procrastinator and a power junkie, so I am very frustrating to work with.
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Jeff Smith was the Julia Child of my generation. When his television show, 'The Frugal Gourmet,' made its debut on PBS in the 1980s, it conveyed such genuine enthusiasm for cooking that I was moved for the first time to slap down cold cash for a collection of recipes.
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I never rated my cuddle factor, but I expect it's pretty low.
Alton Brown