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Slicing a warm slab of bacon is a lot like giving a ferret a shave. No matter how careful you are, somebody's going to get hurt.
Alton Brown
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Alton Brown
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: July 30
Actor
Author
Chef
Cinematographer
Musician
Television Personality
Voice Actor
Writer
LA
California
Alton Crawford Walter Brown
Alton Crawford Brown
Careful
Slab
Somebody
Ferret
Food
Slicing
Hurt
Slabs
Matter
Ferrets
Giving
Shave
Going
Bacon
Like
Warm
More quotes by Alton Brown
Well, you know, when you go into a restaurant, one of the scariest things is the wine list, so whenever I'm really feeling intimidated, I'll just pick a wine type, like a Chianti or Brunello or a Burgundy, and I'll pick a year that's missing and ask for that one.
Alton Brown
I'm grateful my teenaged daughter is healthy and well and for the work I do to make a living.
Alton Brown
My college degree was in theater. But the real reason, if I have any success in that milieu, so to speak, is because I spent a lot of years directing, I spent a lot of years behind the camera
Alton Brown
Do not allow watching food to replace making food.
Alton Brown
I love to have battles of the wits with people that can dish fast and dirty - and it leads to problems occasionally, 'cause I can sound mean without attempting to be mean.
Alton Brown
The worst food you'll ever eat will probably be prepared by a 'cook' who calls himself a 'chef.' Mark my words.
Alton Brown
We are fat and sick and dying because we have handed a basic, fundamental and intimate function of life over to corporations. We choose to value our nourishment so little that we entrust it to strangers. This is insanity. Feed yourselves. Feed your loved ones. And for God's sake feed your children.
Alton Brown
I am a filmmaker. That is all I've ever been. You know, Martin Scorsese makes films about the mob. And I make movies about food.
Alton Brown
Now my wife may think she's locked me out of the kitchen but MacGyver's not my patron saint for nothing.
Alton Brown
You need to either create a slurry in a cold liquid, which also works with cornstarch, or you've got to do your gravy in a very wide pan and kind of scatter the flour over the top and then very quickly whisk it in.
Alton Brown
I'm like a really goofy home ec teacher.
Alton Brown
A home cook who relies too much on a recipe is sort of like a pilot who reads the plane's instruction manual while flying.
Alton Brown
The problem is I am both a procrastinator and a power junkie, so I am very frustrating to work with.
Alton Brown
I am firmly in the lard camp. It must be what we call leaf lard, which is a specific kind of lard that resides around certain internal organs in the pig.
Alton Brown
I'm just sitting around thinking about turkey.
Alton Brown
That's the ultimate goal of most turkey recipes: to create a great skin and stuffing to hide the fact that turkey meat, in its cooked state, is dry and flavorless. Does it have to be that way? No. We just have to focus on what the turkey is and what the turkey needs.
Alton Brown
If I took my turkey out of the refrigerator and, like, threw it in a dumpster or drug it down the street in New York for a while [it will make people sick].
Alton Brown
Last year, I made a refrigerator in my basement. And I needed to because I needed to figure how - you know there is no such thing as 'cold.' There is only less heat.
Alton Brown
I'm prickly. I fuss over every single detail.
Alton Brown
Unless your kid is Pele Jr., they're not going to be able to feed themselves from soccer. If your kid knows how to play soccer, but not make dinner, you have done them a disservice.
Alton Brown