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I love to have battles of the wits with people that can dish fast and dirty - and it leads to problems occasionally, 'cause I can sound mean without attempting to be mean.

Alton Brown

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Alton Brown
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: July 30
Actor
Author
Chef
Cinematographer
Musician
Television Personality
Voice Actor
Writer
LA
California
Alton Crawford Walter Brown
Alton Crawford Brown
Causes
Occasionally
Sound
Wit
Problem
Dirty
Wits
Without
Leads
Dish
Mean
Fast
Naughty
Love
Battle
Battles
People
Cause
Attempting
Problems
Dishes

More quotes by Alton Brown

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I am firmly in the lard camp. It must be what we call leaf lard, which is a specific kind of lard that resides around certain internal organs in the pig.
Alton Brown
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Molecular gastronomy is not bad... but without sound, basic culinary technique, it is useless.
Alton Brown
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A home cook who relies too much on a recipe is sort of like a pilot who reads the plane's instruction manual while flying.
Alton Brown
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I grill, therefore I am.
Alton Brown
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The stubby French painter Toulouse-Lautrec supposedly invented chocolate mousse - I find that rather hard to believe, but there you have it.
Alton Brown
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I'm a filmmaker who decided to go to culinary school. All I picked up was the fact if I didn't understand what was going on with every single ingredient, I could be qualifying for, like, the lunch food job at my daughter's school.
Alton Brown
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The only unitasker allowed in my kitchen is a fire extinguisher.
Alton Brown
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I'm like a really goofy home ec teacher.
Alton Brown
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Basting is evil. Basting does nothing for the meat. Why? Skin. Skin is designed to keep stuff out of the bird, so basting just lets heat out of the oven. That means the turkey will take longer to cook... so don't touch that door!
Alton Brown
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Cranberries contain a massive amount of natural pectins. They will gel all on their own, which is why you can basically make cranberry sauce out of filling.
Alton Brown
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Butter typically melts around, you know, 90 Fahrenheit, as opposed to about 20 degrees higher for lard. So what that means is that when you're working with it, the lard is going to stay more solid, which is great for flakiness.
Alton Brown
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What happens is that in each clump you've got the gelatinization of starches, which happens very quickly at the surface of the clump and it kind of forms a protective skin around this dry hunk of flour.
Alton Brown
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My college degree was in theater. But the real reason, if I have any success in that milieu, so to speak, is because I spent a lot of years directing, I spent a lot of years behind the camera
Alton Brown
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If my wife made childhood obesity her mission and I signed a law making 1/8 cup of tomato paste a vegetable, I'd be sleeping on the sofa.
Alton Brown
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I only really fake it anymore with sommeliers who are being really snotty to me and I don't want to take their grief and so I try to do something to kind of throw them off or put them on the defensive, even if I don't know what I'm talking about
Alton Brown
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I'm grateful my teenaged daughter is healthy and well and for the work I do to make a living.
Alton Brown
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If there's something I feel certain of, it is that we're not very aware of each other and that's largely because of social media.
Alton Brown
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A balanced diet may be the best medicine. I was eating too much good eats. But people consider that part of your job, you know? Eat. And I do!
Alton Brown
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Seriously. I'm not very bright, and it takes a lot for me to get a concept - to really get a concept. To get it enough that it becomes part of me. But when it happens I get real excited about it
Alton Brown
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So on one hand, honey is an amazingly sophisticated and efficient food source. On the other hand, it's bee backwash.
Alton Brown