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I love to have battles of the wits with people that can dish fast and dirty - and it leads to problems occasionally, 'cause I can sound mean without attempting to be mean.

Alton Brown

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Alton Brown
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: July 30
Actor
Author
Chef
Cinematographer
Musician
Television Personality
Voice Actor
Writer
LA
California
Alton Crawford Walter Brown
Alton Crawford Brown
Problems
Dishes
Causes
Occasionally
Sound
Wit
Problem
Dirty
Wits
Without
Leads
Dish
Mean
Fast
Naughty
Love
Battle
Battles
People
Cause
Attempting

More quotes by Alton Brown

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I'm going from doing all of the work to having to delegate the work - which is almost harder for me than doing the work myself. I'm a lousy delegator, but I'm learning.
Alton Brown
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Basting is evil. Basting does nothing for the meat. Why? Skin. Skin is designed to keep stuff out of the bird, so basting just lets heat out of the oven. That means the turkey will take longer to cook... so don't touch that door!
Alton Brown
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I've learned that you shouldn't have preconceived notions about anybody.
Alton Brown
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That's the ultimate goal of most turkey recipes: to create a great skin and stuffing to hide the fact that turkey meat, in its cooked state, is dry and flavorless. Does it have to be that way? No. We just have to focus on what the turkey is and what the turkey needs.
Alton Brown
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I love poking fun at myself. I have a rather mean sense of humor.
Alton Brown
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If you really love stuffing, wait until the turkey comes out of the oven, add some of the pan drippings to the stuffing, and bake it in a dish. That's called dressing, and that's not evil - stuffing is, though.
Alton Brown
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Lumps are caused by one thing and one thing alone - the improper addition of a starch.
Alton Brown
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I like television. I still believe that television is the most powerful form of communication on Earth - I just hate what is being done with it.
Alton Brown
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Your patience will be rewarded.
Alton Brown
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Butter typically melts around, you know, 90 Fahrenheit, as opposed to about 20 degrees higher for lard. So what that means is that when you're working with it, the lard is going to stay more solid, which is great for flakiness.
Alton Brown
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A pie dough comes together exactly like a biscuit only there is very, very little liquid and no leavening involved. Other than that, the same rules apply. My best advice: handle the dough as little as possible.
Alton Brown
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The problem is I am both a procrastinator and a power junkie, so I am very frustrating to work with.
Alton Brown
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Gluttony is wrong. It's wasteful.
Alton Brown
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Believe me, a grain is a terrible thing to waste.
Alton Brown
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Racism. It's ugly. Even in tubers.
Alton Brown
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You know we fixate on the food so much itself: “Oh, the ultimate brownie or the ultimate this or that” -- well, let me tell you something: It’s all poop in about 12 hours, okay? The real power that food has is its ability to connect human beings to each other -- that’s the stuff right there and, to me, everything else is secondary to that.
Alton Brown
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So I quit my job and went to the New England Culinary Institute for the full two years and worked in the restaurant industry after that until finally I thought I had a grasp on what I needed to do what I do.
Alton Brown
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Seriously. I'm not very bright, and it takes a lot for me to get a concept - to really get a concept. To get it enough that it becomes part of me. But when it happens I get real excited about it
Alton Brown
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My feeling has always been that 'Good Eats' would have never happened had it been left to a committee.
Alton Brown
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The thing that helped me get into the film business was that I went to school in Athens, Georgia and managed to get on, um, working on music videos for a band called R.E.M. and that kind of opened up a lot of doors for me.
Alton Brown