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I love poking fun at myself. I have a rather mean sense of humor.

Alton Brown

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Alton Brown
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: July 30
Actor
Author
Chef
Cinematographer
Musician
Television Personality
Voice Actor
Writer
LA
California
Alton Crawford Walter Brown
Alton Crawford Brown
Sense
Mean
Love
Poking
Humor
Fun
Rather

More quotes by Alton Brown

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Now my wife may think she's locked me out of the kitchen but MacGyver's not my patron saint for nothing.
Alton Brown
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I'm loyal and very good about giving people opportunities.
Alton Brown
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I do like artfully breaking rules.
Alton Brown
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Culinary tradition is not always based on fact. Sometimes it's based on history, on habits that come out of a time when kitchens were fueled by charcoal.
Alton Brown
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I found that if I offered to cook for a girl, my odds improved radically over simply asking a girl out. Through my efforts to attract the opposite sex, I found that not only did cooking work, but that it was actually fun.
Alton Brown
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I'm just sitting around thinking about turkey.
Alton Brown
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The worst food you'll ever eat will probably be prepared by a 'cook' who calls himself a 'chef.' Mark my words.
Alton Brown
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My first book is really about heat. That book, for me, was an exploration of heat as ingredient. Why we don't talk about heat as an ingredient, I don't quite understand, because it is the common ingredient to all cooking processes.
Alton Brown
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The stubby French painter Toulouse-Lautrec supposedly invented chocolate mousse - I find that rather hard to believe, but there you have it.
Alton Brown
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I'm like a really goofy home ec teacher.
Alton Brown
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Laminated Lettuce ... perfect for holiday gift giving.
Alton Brown
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I've learned that you shouldn't have preconceived notions about anybody.
Alton Brown
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I know people that could serve me canned tuna and saltine crackers and have me feel more at home at their table than some people who can cook circles around me. The more you try to impress people, generally the less you do.
Alton Brown
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The kitchen's a laboratory, and everything that happens there has to do with science. It's biology, chemistry, physics. Yes, there's history. Yes, there's artistry. Yes, to all of that. But what happened there, what actually happens to the food is all science.
Alton Brown
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I had kicked around the idea for Good Eats when I was directing commercials.
Alton Brown
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I'm grateful my teenaged daughter is healthy and well and for the work I do to make a living.
Alton Brown
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I have nothing but sympathy for the people who are forced to work with me. I'm better now at picking out those that want to play that game with me, and those that don't.
Alton Brown
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The way to any woman's heart, be she witch or Wonderwoman, princess or Pocahontas, is through her stomach.
Alton Brown
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If my wife made childhood obesity her mission and I signed a law making 1/8 cup of tomato paste a vegetable, I'd be sleeping on the sofa.
Alton Brown
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What tends to happen is that people will go - they've got hot broth, you know, they've added some liquid to their drippings, they've brought that up to heat. And then they try to add in a big clump of just kind of a handful of flour, and of course, it turns into library paste.
Alton Brown