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I love poking fun at myself. I have a rather mean sense of humor.

Alton Brown

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Alton Brown
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: July 30
Actor
Author
Chef
Cinematographer
Musician
Television Personality
Voice Actor
Writer
LA
California
Alton Crawford Walter Brown
Alton Crawford Brown
Sense
Mean
Love
Poking
Humor
Fun
Rather

More quotes by Alton Brown

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'Outlaw Cook' was a revelation. Folks like Jeff Smith and Marcella Hazan got me interested in cooking, but John Thorne pushed me into the path that I follow to this day. This is the only cookbook I've ever read that understands how men really eat: over the sink, in the dark, greasy to the elbows.
Alton Brown
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My college degree was in theater. But the real reason, if I have any success in that milieu, so to speak, is because I spent a lot of years directing, I spent a lot of years behind the camera
Alton Brown
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You know we fixate on the food so much itself: “Oh, the ultimate brownie or the ultimate this or that” -- well, let me tell you something: It’s all poop in about 12 hours, okay? The real power that food has is its ability to connect human beings to each other -- that’s the stuff right there and, to me, everything else is secondary to that.
Alton Brown
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The only unitasker allowed in my kitchen is a fire extinguisher.
Alton Brown
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I grill almost all of my fish with the skin on because that gives you real protection at least on one side. It's a nice barrier against super high heat which tends to make a lot of fish to turn really flaky. It's very easy to overcook fish on the grill. But I still brush it with oil before I start.
Alton Brown
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The journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
Alton Brown
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The turkey - my number one thing that people don't get is take that sucker out of the refrigerator about three hours before you plan on cooking it.
Alton Brown
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I have nothing but sympathy for the people who are forced to work with me. I'm better now at picking out those that want to play that game with me, and those that don't.
Alton Brown
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I'm going from doing all of the work to having to delegate the work - which is almost harder for me than doing the work myself. I'm a lousy delegator, but I'm learning.
Alton Brown
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Basting is evil. Basting does nothing for the meat. Why? Skin. Skin is designed to keep stuff out of the bird, so basting just lets heat out of the oven. That means the turkey will take longer to cook... so don't touch that door!
Alton Brown
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I'm like a really goofy home ec teacher.
Alton Brown
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My mantra was to educate people - to actually give them the know-how they could use - and to do it in a very subversive kind of way. I would entertain them, and I was going to teach them whether they knew it or not.
Alton Brown
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Laminated Lettuce ... perfect for holiday gift giving.
Alton Brown
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The way to any woman's heart, be she witch or Wonderwoman, princess or Pocahontas, is through her stomach.
Alton Brown
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I'm prickly. I fuss over every single detail.
Alton Brown
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The skin is forming because of proteins, just like if you cook milk or anything else that's got a coagulant protein in it.
Alton Brown
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Believe me, a grain is a terrible thing to waste.
Alton Brown
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All that [replacing of fat] does is lead to dissatisfaction and I think that dissatisfaction results in overeating.
Alton Brown
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I became a cook so I could cook and tell stories in wacky ways.
Alton Brown
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I feel like being on Broadway will convince my mother that my theater degree was worth it.
Alton Brown