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Unless your kid is Pele Jr., they're not going to be able to feed themselves from soccer. If your kid knows how to play soccer, but not make dinner, you have done them a disservice.

Alton Brown

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Alton Brown
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: July 30
Actor
Author
Chef
Cinematographer
Musician
Television Personality
Voice Actor
Writer
LA
California
Alton Crawford Walter Brown
Alton Crawford Brown
Able
Play
Pele
Done
Disservice
Going
Feed
Make
Soccer
Dinner
Unless
Kids

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When you're touring, you're constantly in motion.
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If I took my turkey out of the refrigerator and, like, threw it in a dumpster or drug it down the street in New York for a while [it will make people sick].
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A balanced diet may be the best medicine. I was eating too much good eats. But people consider that part of your job, you know? Eat. And I do!
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Cranberries contain a massive amount of natural pectins. They will gel all on their own, which is why you can basically make cranberry sauce out of filling.
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If my wife made childhood obesity her mission and I signed a law making 1/8 cup of tomato paste a vegetable, I'd be sleeping on the sofa.
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I have nothing but sympathy for the people who are forced to work with me. I'm better now at picking out those that want to play that game with me, and those that don't.
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The jewel of the lard is right around the kidneys. But this is a fat that has a very specific crystalline formation and a high melting point.
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I'm prickly. I fuss over every single detail.
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The stubby French painter Toulouse-Lautrec supposedly invented chocolate mousse - I find that rather hard to believe, but there you have it.
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Basting is evil. Basting does nothing for the meat. Why? Skin. Skin is designed to keep stuff out of the bird, so basting just lets heat out of the oven. That means the turkey will take longer to cook... so don't touch that door!
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You know we fixate on the food so much itself: “Oh, the ultimate brownie or the ultimate this or that” -- well, let me tell you something: It’s all poop in about 12 hours, okay? The real power that food has is its ability to connect human beings to each other -- that’s the stuff right there and, to me, everything else is secondary to that.
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It's funny, when you look back in history books or American cookery books, one of the reasons that the quinces and cranberries are used so often is because of their natural jelling properties.
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I think in the end there are only 20 or 30 tenets of basic cooking. It's going at perhaps the same issue from different angles, from different points of view, from different presentation styles, that really makes things sink in and become embedded.
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I feel like being on Broadway will convince my mother that my theater degree was worth it.
Alton Brown
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I don't like to be polarizing. It's not who I am.
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My feeling has always been that 'Good Eats' would have never happened had it been left to a committee.
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Gluttony is wrong. It's wasteful.
Alton Brown
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I love poking fun at myself. I have a rather mean sense of humor.
Alton Brown
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The way to any woman's heart, be she witch or Wonderwoman, princess or Pocahontas, is through her stomach.
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Laminated Lettuce ... perfect for holiday gift giving.
Alton Brown