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I found that if I offered to cook for a girl, my odds improved radically over simply asking a girl out. Through my efforts to attract the opposite sex, I found that not only did cooking work, but that it was actually fun.

Alton Brown

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Alton Brown
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: July 30
Actor
Author
Chef
Cinematographer
Musician
Television Personality
Voice Actor
Writer
LA
California
Alton Crawford Walter Brown
Alton Crawford Brown
Actually
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Radically
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More quotes by Alton Brown

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Recipe writers hate to write about heat. They despise it. Because there aren't proper words for communicating what should be done with it.
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All that [replacing of fat] does is lead to dissatisfaction and I think that dissatisfaction results in overeating.
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I'm like a really goofy home ec teacher.
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Molecular gastronomy is not bad... but without sound, basic culinary technique, it is useless.
Alton Brown
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A pie dough comes together exactly like a biscuit only there is very, very little liquid and no leavening involved. Other than that, the same rules apply. My best advice: handle the dough as little as possible.
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Gluttony is wrong. It's wasteful.
Alton Brown
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You know most of the food that Americans hold so dear - things like hamburgers and hot dogs - were road food, but even before they were road food, they were peasant food.
Alton Brown
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I'm prickly. I fuss over every single detail.
Alton Brown
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I only really fake it anymore with sommeliers who are being really snotty to me and I don't want to take their grief and so I try to do something to kind of throw them off or put them on the defensive, even if I don't know what I'm talking about
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Take ice. Ice is fascinating to me. Ice is the one thing in our world that went from an agricultural product to being manufactured.
Alton Brown
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The jewel of the lard is right around the kidneys. But this is a fat that has a very specific crystalline formation and a high melting point.
Alton Brown
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Slicing a warm slab of bacon is a lot like giving a ferret a shave. No matter how careful you are, somebody's going to get hurt.
Alton Brown
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Jeff Smith was the Julia Child of my generation. When his television show, 'The Frugal Gourmet,' made its debut on PBS in the 1980s, it conveyed such genuine enthusiasm for cooking that I was moved for the first time to slap down cold cash for a collection of recipes.
Alton Brown
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Well, you know, when you go into a restaurant, one of the scariest things is the wine list, so whenever I'm really feeling intimidated, I'll just pick a wine type, like a Chianti or Brunello or a Burgundy, and I'll pick a year that's missing and ask for that one.
Alton Brown
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Seriously. I'm not very bright, and it takes a lot for me to get a concept - to really get a concept. To get it enough that it becomes part of me. But when it happens I get real excited about it
Alton Brown
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I never rated my cuddle factor, but I expect it's pretty low.
Alton Brown
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You need to either create a slurry in a cold liquid, which also works with cornstarch, or you've got to do your gravy in a very wide pan and kind of scatter the flour over the top and then very quickly whisk it in.
Alton Brown
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A meringue is really nothing but a foam. And what is a foam after all, but a big collection of bubbles? And what's a bubble? It's basically a very flimsy little latticework of proteins draped with water. We add sugar to this structure, which strengthens it. But things can, and do, go wrong.
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My mantra was to educate people - to actually give them the know-how they could use - and to do it in a very subversive kind of way. I would entertain them, and I was going to teach them whether they knew it or not.
Alton Brown
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Laminated Lettuce ... perfect for holiday gift giving.
Alton Brown