Quote

I could always make people laugh.

Alonzo Bodden

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Alonzo Bodden
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: June 13
Actor
Comedian
Voice Actor
Queens
New York
People
Laugh
Laughing
Make
Always

More quotes by Alonzo Bodden

Image
I grew up in the suburbs. I'm an angry suburban nergo. I'm bad in, like, Starbucks. I'll hurt you over a frappuccino.
Alonzo Bodden
Image
I wasn't always a comic, I used to do honest work.
Alonzo Bodden
Image
The difference, generally speaking, between sportbike people and cruiser people is that sportbike people like performance skill and wear safety gear cruisers like chrome, noise, and style. It's funny to me to separate them because I ride both. I prefer performance cruisers like the Honda Valkyrie I had or my Triumph Rocket III.
Alonzo Bodden
Image
We had one idiot put a bomb in a shoe, and now everybody's got to take their shoes off? Where's the bra bomber at? I say, if we've gotta wait in line, let's make it fun for everybody.
Alonzo Bodden
Image
I don't like conservatives. They always talk about the good old days. I'm black, we have no good old days.
Alonzo Bodden
Image
I like psycho chicks... Yeah, you hook up with a psycho, you're gonna learn something. First thing you learn is how to sleep with one eye open.
Alonzo Bodden
Image
I was on the highway - I saw the scariest thing in the world, man. I saw an Asian driving an SUV. Really, I just drove my car right into the guardrail, figured I'd save him some time.
Alonzo Bodden
Image
I didn't understand NASCAR until I met some NASCAR fans. You talk to a couple of NASCAR fans and you'll see where a shiny car driving in a circle would fascinate them all day. And I can make fun of NASCAR fans, because if they chase me, I just turn right.
Alonzo Bodden
Image
I was teaching airplane mechanics when I realized it was more fun to make them laugh. I was laid off one more time and I never looked back, although it was nice to have a steady paycheck and benefits.
Alonzo Bodden
Image
They sold me a duvet cover, and I don't have a duvet, I don't think. Then, they started treating me like I'm the idiot. They're like, 'Do you have a comforter?' 'Yeah.' 'Well, you have to protect it!' I had no idea it was under attack.
Alonzo Bodden
Image
Black people don't hijack planes, alright? Now I'll be the first to admit, we steal a lot of stuff, but we do not hijack planes. In fact, in the history of aviation, a black person has never even attempted to hijack a plane. Do you want to know why? Because you can't sell an airplane.
Alonzo Bodden
Image
Every day theres something new. Something's going to destroy us all. Then it disappears.
Alonzo Bodden
Image
In a relationship you have to communicate, which means listening to her talk. Ladies, you fake orgasms. We fake listening.
Alonzo Bodden
Image
I have fantasies of burning down an insurance company just so THEY have to make a claim.
Alonzo Bodden
Image
Latinos outnumber Black people now. I'm not too happy about it. Because it's only a matter of time before we lose our month. Soon as they figure it out, they're going to have Latino History Month. All we're going to have is Cinco de Negro.
Alonzo Bodden
Image
Nothing good ever climbed up the side of a boat.
Alonzo Bodden
Image
Watching news showing all the same sex marriages. How long before first same sex divorce?
Alonzo Bodden
Image
I ride because there’s nothing like in the world. It’s a passion. It’s something I absolutely have to do and I can never imagine not doing it.
Alonzo Bodden
Image
I wish airplanes were more like elementary school with someone up front telling everyone to sit down and shut up.
Alonzo Bodden
Image
Women like jewelry. They're like racoons: show them some shiny stuff and they'll follow you home.
Alonzo Bodden