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We could have been happy. I know that, and it is perhaps the hardest thing to know.

Ally Condie

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Ally Condie
Age: 53
Born: 1971
Born: November 2
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Cedar City
Utah
Hardest
Lonely
Perhaps
Happy
Thing

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Forgetting lets you live without the pain for a moment but remembering hits hard.
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Remembering is part of thinking, but not all of it.
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Do you think you could let someone go if you thought it was best for them?
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Theres nothing like reading about a world that feels dead to throw your own beautiful, colorful life into sharp relief.
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I'm just a butterfly, a mourning cloak, sealed inside a cocoon with blnd eyes and stiky wings. And suddenly I wonder if the cocoons sometimes do not open, if the butterfly inside is ever simply not strong enough to break through.
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If you let hope inside, it takes you over. It feeds on your insides and uses your bones to climb and grow. Eventually it becomes the thing that is your bones, that holds you together. Holds you up until you don't know how to live without it anymore. To pull it out of you would kill you entirely.
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I have tried to be righteous all my life. Yet I have never been content.
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There is ebb and flow. Leaving and coming. Flight and fall. Sing and silent. Reaching and reached.
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Teens find out a lot from other teens.
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I wonder if I will ever have the strength to hold onto something. Or if I will always be someone who destroys.
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You cannot change your journey if you are unwilling to move at all.
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So much of life is in the smallness of moments...but they are harder to mark. So we need the grander celebrations and occasions. People like to feel significant.
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How can we appreciate anything fully when overwhelmed with too much?
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I realize now how much courage it takes to choose the life you want, whatever that might be.
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Growing apart doesn't change the fact that for a long time we grew side by side our roots will always be tangled. I'm glad for that.
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I can trust in my parents' love. And it strikes me that is a big thing to trust, a big thing to have had, no matter what else happens.
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Caring about anyone leaves you vulnerable.
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Once you want something, everything changes. Now I want everything. More and more and more.
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And it is strange that absence can feel like presence.
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Reading the situation correctly is part of getting through it safely.
Ally Condie