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Oh, where is the Fairy Godmother of explanations when you need her?

Allison Pearson

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Allison Pearson
Age: 64
Born: 1960
Born: July 22
Author
Journalist
Caerfyrddin
Needs
Godmother
Explanations
Explanation
Fairy
Need

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Children are the proof we've been here . . . they're where we go to when we die. They're the best thing and the most impossible thing, but there's nothing else . . . Life is a riddle and they are the answer. If there's any answer, it has to be them.
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The best musicians answer something in you when you don't even know the question.
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I forget the derivation of Boxing Day, but the feeling of wanting to invite your loved ones outside one at a time and punch them in the face, does that come into it somewhere?
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I don't believe for a minute that women really want to be understood by men.
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No man would ever use both hands to hold a cup of tea, unless he was one day's march from the South Pole, with one chum dead in the snow, dogs all eaten and six fingers about to drop off. And even then he would look around the empty tent to check, in case anybody thought it was girly.
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When you're young your mother shields you from the world because she thinks you're too young to understand, and when she's old you shield her because she's too old to understand - or to have any more understanding inflicted upon her. The curve of life goes: want to know, know, don't want to know.
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You learned that if you're tired enough, you can sleep sitting up. That the unendurable is perfectly endurable if you just take it a minute at a time, and when the alternative is no more minutes ever.
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When you have kids, there's a tendency to put the marriage stew on the back burner and give it a quick stir now and then. But it's important to remember why you had children with this person.
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Men worry about childcare with their wallets, women feel it in their wombs.
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For centuries, the question of men needing to comprehend women simply didn't arise. Men were valued according to how they measured up to the manly virtues.
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God probably thinks it’s worth giving a sense of humor only to those of us who have to laugh at all the rubbish bits that are wrong with us.
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A mother of a one-year-old boy is a movie star in a world without critics.
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Anyone suffering Downton Abbey withdrawal symptoms will find an instant tonic.
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The software program for motherhood is impossible to fully download into the male brain. You give them two tasks and they're like, 'I have to change the baby and get the dry cleaning?'
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Can't is for pussies.
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My husband is old-fashioned and kind, he does the greatest Sinatra impression, and I'd never have written anything if he hadn't read all those bedtime stories and unloaded the dishwasher while I slaved over chapters.
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The times you don't make it are the ones children remember, not the times you do.
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Working mothers' laughter comes hardest when our double life is revealed for what it is: a juggling act in which the balls can drop at any time, invariably on our own head.
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My child was one of Nature's Tories pitted against a mother who was one of nurture's Lefties: it was no contest.
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The quickest way to stop noticing something may be to buy it, just as the quickest way to stop appreciating a person may be to marry them.
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