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The grandiose person is never really free first because he is excessively dependent on admiration from others, and second, because his self-respect is dependent on qualities, functions, and achievements that can suddenly fail.

Alice Miller

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Alice Miller
Age: 87 †
Born: 1923
Born: January 12
Died: 2010
Died: April 14
Painter
Psychologist
Sociologist
Writer
Piotrkow Trybunalski
First
Respect
Qualities
Really
Quality
Dependent
Never
Free
Suddenly
Others
Fail
Excessively
Persons
Achievement
Grandiose
Person
Function
Achievements
Firsts
Failing
Functions
Self
Second
Admiration

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For the human soul is virtually indestructible, and its ability to rise from the ashes remains as long as the body draws breath.
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The victimization of children is nowhere forbidden what is forbidden is to write about it.
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We can never do the right thing as long as we are out to please someone else.
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Genuine feelings are never the product of conscious effort. They are quite simply there, and they are there for a very good reason, even if that reason is not always apparent.
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Society chooses to disregard the mistreatment of children, judging it to be altogether normal because it is so commonplace.
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Genuine feelings cannot be produced, nor can they be eradicated. We can only repress them, delude ourselves, and deceive our bodies. The body sticks to the facts.
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The child has a primary need to be regarded and respected as the person he really is at any given time, and as the center - the central actor - in his own activity.
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The true opposite of depression is not gaiety or absence of pain, but vitality: the freedom to experience spontaneous feelings.
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Disrespect is the weapon of the weak
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All children are born to grow, to develop, to live, to love, and to articulate their needs and feelings for their self-protection
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someday we will regard our children not as creatures to manipulate or to change but rather as messengers from a world we once deeply knew, but which we have long since forgotten, who can reveal to us more about the true secrets of life, and also our own lives, than our parents were ever able to.
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Contempt is the weapon of the weak and a defense against one's own despised and unwanted feelings.
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You gotta keep that in check - you got to.
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That probably greatest of narcissistic wounds -- not to have been loved just as one truly was -- cannot heal without the work of mourning.
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The art of not experiencing feelings. A child can experience her feelings only when there is somebody there who accepts her fully, understands her, and supports her. If that person is missing, if the child must risk losing the mother's love of her substitute in order to feel, then she will repress emotions.
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One of the best ways of keeping your temper in an argument, as most of us know only too well, is not to listen to anything the other person has to say.
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The only possible recourse a baby has when his screams are ignored is to repress his distress, which is tantamount to mutilating his soul, for the result is an interference with his ability to feel, to be aware, and to remember.
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Wherever I look, I see signs of the commandment to honor one's parents and nowhere of a commandment that calls for the respect of a child.
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Problems cannot be solved with words, but only through experience.
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One can only remember what has been consciously experienced.
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